DR. STEVE, U. S. DEFENSE DEPT. GENIUS

for thirty years dr. steve worked on the development of the door wedge.  finally finding out that it was already invented he became an alcoholic and died in an officer's club restroom.  in addition, he now was older and no longer attracted the skanks at the bar in a physical way.  life was not worth continuing.  visions of fame in the scientific community vanished.  so sad.

his concept of the wedge developed over many years supported of course by tax payer money.  in the beginning he tried bowling balls but found they rolled away from the door.  the mathematics of his findings can be found in his technical report, NON-LINEAR FRICTION ANALYSIS.

later on he tried blocks of ice which melted and also slipped away from the door.

almost successful was the use of computer hard drives but the exposed circuitry scratched the floor.

INVENTOR OF THE WEDGE

finally coming up with a triangular shaped rubber device he was let down and depressed upon finding he was only 45000 years late.  so close.  beaten out by a neanderthal man in a cave

his boss said that the U. S. DEFENSE DEPT.  is always seeking new and innovative methods and he provides the environment for scientific inquiry and growth.  he praised dr. steve for his harvard-like new england accent and for always carrying a manila folder around when not at his desk.

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