senior, old age, second childhood, sickness and death, ain't we got fun.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

HOE AVENUE, BRONX, NY (PART VIII): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN NEW JERSEY

(continued)



i was a little kid when i first went to school from hoe ave.  relying on my mom  to take me to and from home on my rainy first day was a disappointment.  she was no sacawagea.  i didn’t know where we lived and i had no idea as to how to get there from school. the last kid standing; hungry and alone in the rain.  very distressing.  mom was late but who holds a grudge?

she finally showed up and saved me.  thanks mom.  i'm sure there were more important things to do than taking care of your little son.  perhaps shopping?

(to be continued)

*****************************************************************************************************************************

Fiona Apple - After You've Gone



***********************************************************************************************************************

Saturday, November 20, 2010

HOE AVENUE, BRONX, NY (PART VII): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN NEW JERSEY

(continued)

lotsa stuff while living on hoe avenue.  ok, we moved around a lot 'cause my mom told me that during the great depression, landlords would give you one or two months free rent and the savings would justify moving every year.  my dad, poor guy worked all the time during this period and died young.  a lesson not wasted on me.  my bs, phd uncle from baltimore who worked for the defense dept. was always whining about something and lived a long time.  thats for me.  whining and living a long time.  i too worked for the defense dept.  

i think we lived twice on hoe avenue when very young after morrison avenue which i haven't gotten to yet.

(to be continued)

********************************************************************************************************************************




*************************************************************************************************************************

Friday, November 19, 2010

SPOT LIVES

SEE SPOT RUN

teacher: "what does this say?"

{groan  --  some moron is actually going to answer this question.]

herbert: "oooh!  oooh!"

teacher:  "herbert?"

herbert:  "see spot run."


teacher:  "excellent.  you will be a great person, herbert." 
 
{groan, groan}
 
***********************************************************************************************************************************************
 
20 YEARS LATER
 
doctor professor smith: " i now bestow on you the degree of doctor of chemistry.  you have successfully regurgitated what i have told you, which i had successfully regurgitated from my teachers and they from their teachers for a thousand generations.  go forth and spread your knowledge."
 
herbert:  "i will spread the word - see spot run." 
 
*********************************************************************************************************************************************
 
QE1 & QE2 Quantitative Easing Explained Cartoon
 

 
 
doctor professor smith will be glad to enlighten you on this subject.  please buy his text book before consulting with him.


 
************************************************************************************************************************************
 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

NOT THE E STREET BAND

FROM WHEN MUSIC WAS GREAT ---

"Comes Love" Artie Shaw and Helen Forrest




******************************************************************************************************************************

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

NEW MEMBERS OF CONGRESS ARRIVE IN DC




it is trick or treat time in wash. dc for new congressional members.  being that the lobbyists are loaded with assorted gifts and cash, i suggest you dress up like a congressperson and extort stuff from lobbyists.  your moral standing will be no worse than theirs.  go for it.





********************************************************************************************************************************

the weekend newspapers revealed that:  

"The CIA granted some Nazis entry to the US for intelligence gathering purposes after World War II, the New York Times reported, citing a 600-page report ...  "

why is this news?  30, ,, 40, .. 50, years ago i could have pointed out several suspects in new jersey. 

from defecting hessians during the revolutionary war, german and italian people jumping ships from axis nations just before wwii, bund meetings before they were banned and supposed emigres working at my defense dept. installation the whole state of (ugh) new jersey is suspect.

and what about bigfoot and his wife bigmouth.

****************************************************************************************************************************

Monday, November 15, 2010

THE WISDOM OF CROWDS


96% of wapo respondents thought the ny giants would beat the dallas losers-from-nowhere football team yesterday.

nevermind.


***************************************************************************************************

Sunday, November 14, 2010

TIFFANY STREET, BRONX, NY (PART V): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN NEW JERSEY


(continued)

somehow i published part vi before this one part v.  time warps exist.

my grandparents, after their living on kelly street lived on tiffany street probably for about four years.  there was a lot of moving around in my family for known and unknown (to me) reasons.  

i recall being a kid:

reading my first book from the large public library (two streets away), about the development of metallurgy;

sitting under the radio listening to such great programs as, Speed Gibson Of The International Secret Police;


being given a copy of, the arabian nights, which i didn't understand, by two sisters boarding with my grandparents;

being taken to a stock broker's office by my grandfather while he was baby sitting me (note: today there are
no stock broker's firms physically located in the bronx);

listening to my two young aunts and my mom discussing man catching strategies while depilating;

going to the tiffany movie theater to watch two or three movies at a sitting, receiving a comic book, and candy - all for 11 cents; 

listening to 78 rpm records on their windup phonograph.


i'll quit now as i see i've put you to sleep....  zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

****************************************************************************************************************************

recalling, pearl harbor, a few days ago, i missed this song.



maybe some of you dummies can understand this:

 **********************************************************************************************************************

Saturday, November 13, 2010

DALLAS COWBOYS: AMERICA'S LOSERS PREVIOUSLY AMERICA'S TEAM

dallas losers playing giants tomorrow.  they're only two touchdown underdogs.  easy game for giants.

PLEASE STOP EMBARASSING THIS COUNTRY BY CALLING YOURSELF AMERICA'S TEAM.  MAYBE THE TEAM-FROM-NOWHERE WOULD  BE MORE APPROPRIATE.

**********************************************************************************************************************

jets seem to be fading.  are they going to squeak by cleveland?  maybe.......

************************************************************************************************************************

boise state exceeded expectations last night.  can they be selected for and then win a major bowl game?????????????????????????

*****************************************************************************************************************

if anyone wants to see me:  when i'm in, tell them i'm out;
                                          when i'm out, tell them i'm in.

********************************************************************************************************************

this is awful.  i do not recommend watching it.



*****************************************************************************************

Friday, November 12, 2010

LELAND AVENUE, BRONX, NY (PART VI): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN NEW JERSEY


(continued)

this could be me on leland avenue.  i have a picture just like it, so why should i scan it?  the likeness is astounding.

 (to be continued)
********************************************************************************************************************

HEARING VOICES

i hear voices.  the world is ending.

they are phantasmic-like; shrill, discordant, wild, contradictory, and stupid.

they disturb me.

stop them!  help!!!

oh, its the television political and financial discussions.       CLICK

whew i feel better.

********************************************************************************************************************

i'm shocked .... shocked that they allow videos like this. 




****************************************************************************************************************

Thursday, November 11, 2010

TRUE TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL: MURRAY KOSS IS HAUNTING ME

about 70 years ago murray koss assisted me in writing a second stanza to my famous poem, "pearl harbor".  he declined having his name on the piece.  perhaps it or i was not up to his magnificent standards.  only after its publication in the ps 6 paper with only my name on it did he complain.  this morning i found the following amazing documents in my computer room next to each other:
my lawn mower warranty - MURRAY;
my cd player warranty - KOSS.

i think his ghost is haunting me.

***************************************************************************************************************************
this is the great unforgettable poem

            



   PEARL HARBOR

Remember that day in forty-one,                                            
When the japs came over and made us run
From Guam, from Wake and the Philipines too,
They've had their fun and now they are through.



  
We were ready on December eighth,
And Roosevelt's speech gave us great faith
To fight to the gates of Tokyo,
And to kill and destroy our nipponese foe.



*******************************************************************************************

i'm tearing up .........

*********************************************************************************************
 dear murray,

i hope this sets the record straight.  thank you for your help.

*******************************************************************************************


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

KELLY STREET, BRONX, NY (PART IV): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN NEW JERSEY)

(continued)

before rogers place there was kelly street.  the couple next door were both legally blind but were gainfully employed.  their daughter, barbara, was a normal sweet girl.  it was sorta' sad to think about their difficulties.

at this time my grandparents lived on the floor above us.  later they moved to tiffany street.  my grandmother took in "foster children" to supplement their income.  i would like to report that being around women during my young life; my two aunts and all the young women my grandma took in, sometimes two at a time, i was never abused.  how strange.  and i was a cute kid.

being a mature five and a half, i recall lecturing barbara and a red headed girl about life.  they listened intently to my views.  that was the last time anyone paid attention to me.


**********************************************************************************************************************
colin powell apartments

"Colin Powell comes home to christen apartments - NYPOST.comSep 23, 2010 ... When Colin Powell returns to his home neighborhood in the south Bronx ... home was at 980 Fox Street, and then he moved to 952 Kelly Street. ..."


the kelly street address certainly was the same block i lived on and across the street from my building.


“I left the Bronx some 55 years ago, but the Bronx never left me,” said Powell to cheers and applause.
.

***********************************************************************************************************************

political commentary of the day, "goodbye obama, you're done.  thank you for your service.  don't let the door hit you on the way out."

*********************************************************************************************************************

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

ROGERS PLACE, BRONX, NY (PART III): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN NEW JERSEY

(continued)

ruth lived up the street.  she was in my first grade class.  one time i saw her on the entry steps to her house, red eyed and crying.  it was probably the first time i felt empathy, a weakness i'm still trying to overcome.  you would think my transylvanian roots would deny these feelings.

at the end of my street was a small park now called albert dorey park.  who the hell is albert dorey?  my superficial scan of the so called "internet information super highway" yielded a variety of misinformation.  nevermind.

at the other end of the street, the westchester avenue corner, there was a private swimming pool.

seems to me that life was a lot more active and interesting during the times of the great depression than the bs suburban affluence of today.  there were at least eight movie houses within walking distance: three in and around prospect avenue, four along southern blvd. and one at tiffany street.  now there are none.

(to be continued)

*****************************************************************************************************************************

george w bush's book is being released today.  as they say, "you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear."

****************************************************************************************************************************
 does ava look good or what?

Monday, November 8, 2010

ROGERS PLACE, BRONX, NY (PART II): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN NEW JERSEY

(continued)

as you 21st century folks may not know, an apartment building, pre wwii in the greatest place in the universe, nyc, is equivalent in size to a whole new jersey town except it had less retards and engineers.

arthur freed lived on the ground floor on the other side of the building from the klovers.  his parents would punish him for getting poor grades.  unfortunately for him he was doing his best.  he was just stupid.  it wasn't his teacher's fault.  it wasn't the school system's fault.  it wasn't fdr's fault.  these days they could have trained him to be an engineer in new jersey.  the defense dept. is chock full of people like him.

he bit me once because i won at a game.

(to be continued)

*******************************************************************************************************************

NOT TEXAS

LETTER TO NFL:

dear nfl,

please restrain the delusional dallas football franchise from calling themselves "AMERICA'S TEAM".  it is an embarassment to the essence of this great country.

granpa.

********************************************************************************************************************



"ray85milan

July 18, 2007


From the movie "Sally" [First National - 1929]"




**********************************************************************************************************************

Sunday, November 7, 2010

BOISE STATE WINS AGAIN

i was wrong when i wrote that boise state would disappoint when up against a red hot, hawaii team but even though state was overwhelming they may not be headed for a major bowl game.  unfortunately, viewing other games on tv yesterday the facts are that other teams have better tv coverage and presentation.  boise state's major bowl game aspirations are fatally flawed because of deficiencies in a variety of superficial areas. 


FOR EXAMPLE -

THERE'S NUTHIN' LIKE A LOTTA BS IN PROMOTIONS


the boise state game lacked in:

crowd noises

marching bands

tv announcers

tv camerawork

cheer leaders

major alumni funding

major tv channel exposure and display.

as you know winning is not the only thing.  its glitzy presentation and bs thats important.  look at what the republicans did on absolutely nothing.  winning an election while running on empty.  lying also helps.

upgrading boise's image is important.  potatoes are out.  22nd century technology is in.  folksy pioneer spirit is out.  the future of america is in.  SEE THE FUTURE.  GO BOISE STATE!!!!!!!!
*********************************************************************************************************

ALABAMA HAS ALL THAT JAZZ.  BOISE CAN KICK THEIR BUTT.



ALABAMA STADIUM - CLEAVAGE HELPS
*********************************************************************************************************

state needs at a minimum a fight song like:


***********************************************************************************************************

Saturday, November 6, 2010

ROGERS PLACE, BRONX, NY (PART I): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN NEW JERSEY

in olden days you could get a middle class one room apt. in an outer borough of nyc for about 10 to 15 bucks a month.  the klovers lived in one of those on the ground floor.

sometimes after my 2nd grade school day ended at public school 39, the klover kids, mike and gerry, ray olsman from the third floor and i, assembled in the klover one room ground floor apt.  mr. klover was asleep in  a big bed and alice klover would supervise and be doing married lady things. it was rather busy and crowded all at once.

i recall assembling (american) indian beaded items from kits costing one cent.

mr. klover slept right through all the activities.


(to be continued)




**********************************************************************************************************************


********************************************************************************************************************

Friday, November 5, 2010

REPUBLICANS GO MARCHING IN

FOR REPUBLICANS MARCHING IN (IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM)



****************************************************************************************************************

Thursday, November 4, 2010

CONGRATULATIONS TO REPUBLICANS - REAL ESTATE PRICES UP IN DC AREA

many democrats and their staffs will remain in the dc area and the good news is that the new members of congress will need housing.  thank you for winning.

 can i show you a nice house in a nice area?

******************************************************************************************

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

CUT TAXES, CUT TAXES, CUT TAXES ...UMMM CUT TAXES

yup, this has no relevance


**********************************************************************************************************************************************

OK FOLKS THE GREAT REPUBLICAN BRAIN TRUST WILL SPEND LESS MONEY, CREATE JOBS, AND CUT TAXES.  YEA!! 

how do you do that?

because they are so smart.

*********************************************************************************************************************************************

the paladino concession speech is a political classic for the ages, not quite elegant and dignified and a must see.




he's in the wrong state.  he is right out of new jersey.

attention joe pesci, he is stealing your job.

*****************************************************************************************************************

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

DIABLO KILLED MY SPIRIT

i have given up diablo (again).  after finishing off andariel rather neatly i went back into her throneroom to mop up the few stragglers and get the remaining deutsche marks when i was bushwhacked and killed.  thats it.

**********************************************************************************************************************************
“When all were against me, when all gods; good, evil and even neutral opposed me, I survived. What hope have you, mortal?” - Necrosis



************************************************************************************************************************

yea for s. f. giants.

the last world series for the ny giants was in '54.  the 111 win cleveland indians were defeated in 4 games.  my brilliant phd baltimore blowhard uncle was still claiming victory for cleveland after they were 3 down,

http://www.baseballhistorian.com/html/1954_world_series_-_page_1.htm

***********************************************************************************************************

election day, today - just send me my social security and shut up.

***********************************************************************************************************

Monday, November 1, 2010

STORY OF THE DAY.

berlusconi's new lady friend?

i hereby declare, Silvio Berlusconi an honorary citizen of new jersey.

***********************************************************************************************************



*******************************************************************************************************

Sunday, October 31, 2010

MY BLOG: FOR ME AND MY GOLDFISH


dear goldfish,


my wife and i attended (on the sidelines) the Stephen Colbert/Jon Stewart event at the dc mall yesterday.  before the media and political control freaks get hold of it and distort the event, i have the following observations:

a.  i'm sure at least a million people attended and more including me could only stay on the sidelines.  thats one of every three hundred americans attended or tried to attend this event.

b.  there were no idealogues.  the only very occasional theme were some signs that bush and his administration were sadly lacking.  and they were.

c. jesus must love this crowd.  it was a magnificent fall day.


AND THIS WAS ONLY THE CROWD ON THE MALL


*************************************************************************************************************************************************

the media and political control freaks will try to make this an entertainment or comedy event which it definitely was not.  a million serious people who are sick of the real comedians:  politicians old and new "from sea to shining sea" trying to ruin this good and great country for their own benefit.

 *********************************************************************************************************************************************



********************************************************************************************************************************************

Saturday, October 30, 2010

ELECTION DAY ALERT

keep the political hacks at bay.  disconnect all communication devices and leave your home.  today they will be harassing and begging for your attention like dogs at the dinner table.  next week, after the election, they'll be exploiting you.

do something more important; watch the leaves turn, smell fresh air - if the politicians left any for you. 


****************************************************************************************

Friday, October 29, 2010

WHEN MUSSOLINI, STALIN, AND HITLER MET

today we will have a discussion with two great leaders of our recent time past, general secretary joe badboy stalin, and chancellor adolf crazyguy hitler.  they will discuss the care and feeding of a newborn kitten under the moderation of his excellency benito mafiaboss mussolini.

bm:  "before we send for a pizza, let us start our discussion,  general secretary stalin."

s: "we must take the kitten to siberia for its safety."

h:  hitler turns red and jumps onto table waving his arms and screaming, "you are wrong.  the kitten has blue eyes and is of pure blood.  it cannot be contaminated by your people."

stalin takes out gun .. bang .. and shoots hitler.

bm: "he's dead.  call for the pizza."

CUT TO COMMERCIAL

....... mushrooms .....  and extra cheese ......

...  mmmmm ... pizza
******************************************************************************************************
notes:

Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin born იოსებ ბესარიონის ძე ჯუღაშვილი.  he was considered for the ... ummm .... nobel peace prize in 1945. wow - so much for the peace prize.

adolf hitler was considered of full aryan blood which accounts for his insanity and assholeness; aryan racial traits.

benito mussolini was a political journalist early in his career and was a well qualified media person.

pizza  (modern pizza) originated in Italy as the neapolitan pie with tomato and cheese in 1889.   .. mmm .. pizza.

****************************************************************************************************





*********************************************************************************************************

Thursday, October 28, 2010

MOON ROCKS



i'm expected to believe that some guy who acquired a bunch of what they call college credits in geology because he wanted to avoid the draft for 'nam and because of his parents' profitable lawn service walks out on his lawn and among the gazillion varied and unique rocks he discerns that one popped off the moon.  whoa, thats a leap of faith and a lot to digest.

my theory is  (y'know what buffalo chips are?) that those ufos when they land (usually in nevada) empty their - ummmm -- you know - moon rocks and fly away.




******************************************************************************************************

ANNIE LITTLE, ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER VOICE ----



***************************************************************************************************************

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

SACAGAWEA LIVES

OR SARAH PALIN?  WHO KNOWS?
sarah palin is channeling shoshoni woman, sacagawea who led the lewis and clark expedition, acted as interpreter, guide, and class mother while she bore and nursed her child.

of course lewis and clark, and our brilliant president, thomas jefferson got the credit.  they of course had all the brains and sacagawea was just a common woman without degrees, awards, or rank.

hey, i don't want palin to lead me but the truth is compelling.

i'm as dumb as the rest of you.  i want people with degrees, awards, and rank no matter how stupid they are.

**************************************************************************************************

which brings to mind fred astaire and ginger rogers. she did the same thing he did except backwards and in high heels.

************************************************************************************************

just sayin'

lewis had a dog, seaman, during the expedition and praised its  “sagacity”.

"sagacity



Definition: wisdom


Synonyms: acumen, astuteness, brains, clear thinking, common sense, comprehension, discernment, discrimination, enlightenment, experience, foresight, good judgment, insight, intelligence, judgment, knowledge, levelheadedness, perceptiveness, perspicacity, practicality, prudence, sageness, sapience, sense, shrewdness, understanding "

obviously lewis and clark needed a lot of help.

**********************************************************************************************************

i have no idea what this is about...........

"Je sais qu'il est des yeux
Qui regardent peureux
Le bonheur qui revient
Et ce sont les tiens
Que tout un passé retient
Ne songeons plus à nos remords
l'amour est toujours le plus fort
Tes yeux pleins de douceur
Ne doivent rêver qu'aux joies de mon coeur.
(au Refrain)"



******************************************************************************

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

YEA! DALLAS COWBOYS HAVE THEM WHERE THEY WANT THEM.

cowboys disgracefully losing to the NEW YORK GIANTS last night is giving the rest of the nfl a feeling of confidence.  it is exactly what they were aiming for.  all they have to do now is win every game remaining in the regular seaon and all the playoff games.  voila, super bowl champions - piece of cake!



GO GIANTS!!!!


***********************************************************************************************

just sayin':

as said on the joe scarborough show, any college football team playing on a tuesday night like BOISE STATE is not ready for prime time BCS.

the game on nov. 6th against moderate strength hawaii may be turning point for boise.


nevermind.
**********************************************************************************************


I'M FALLING FOR THE 1957, DORIS DAY (and the 90 bc cleopatra):



************************************************************************************************

Monday, October 25, 2010

OPEN LETTER TO TEAPARTY AND REPUBLICANS

dear t&r,

just keep sending me my social security, keep workin', pay your taxes and shutup.

granpa

******************************************************************************
just sayin'

daily record, "Defense, energy industries pour thousands into Frelinghuysen's coffers"

being that the crappy democrats in this district have no chance and would be no improvement over countryclub rodney this can only be payment for future favors.


***********************************************************************************

Sunday, October 24, 2010

WORK ETHIC - ARBEIT MACHT FREI (heh, heh - you don't believe the phony germans actually believe this)

i'm glad the french are at least clearheaded (thru their wine-hazed eyes) when it comes to work. 


press tv :"France paralyzed as strikes enter day 12 "

and their government only wants to change the retirement age.

americans seem to be brainwashed that if anyone is only casually considering not working he is a dangerous communist.

even the most menial of jobs is considered better than not working.  i've heard my fellow primates proudly say such things as, “it was my job to push the green button at the firing range.”  how someone could admit that he had such a demeaning job is beyond my understanding.  but he was working! huh?

i retired as soon as possible and was accused of being a slacker not a man of means, magnate, or aristocrat.  but that was new jersey, home of bigfoot and his wife bigmouth.

i don't get it.

***********************************************************************************************************************


Heigh-Ho - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

apparently the seven dwarfs had no idea of what they were doing - mining gems.



******************************************************************************************************
 

Saturday, October 23, 2010

DEFENSE DEPT. SAFETY SPECS - PART III


(continued)


TWO WEEKS LATER ----


me: "here it is, bossman. a comprehensive compendium of all safety requirements for this item as required by the official textual and canned materials handed down from the all-wise command."

bm: "this is only one page, double spaced."

me: "yup, thats all thats necessary.  its all in there."

bm:  "beef it up.  i'd like at least ten pages to show my great effort and my magnificent work in this area."

me: "i've incorporated all the necessary components and requirements. its all there.  what else do you want?  you're the boss."

bm: "no, you're the expert.  we sent you to that expensive, intensive course and gave you a framed, certified, imprimatur stamped certificate with gold leaf lettering.  as i said, you have a free hand.  do it.  do it.  do it."

me:  "let me understand this.  you say, i have a free hand and i'm the expert?"

bm: "yup."

me: "ok, i've got it, boss.  its as good as done.?  see you later."


FIVE YEARS LATER:

me: "well, today is my last day.  i'm retiring.  bye."



bm: " what a coincidence, today is my last day too.  i'm getting a promotion and going to the command and getting a superior performance award for my exceptional and excellent leadership and supervisory ability.  by the way, weren't you completing a safety specification?"




me: "oh, remember?  it was completed with your superior assistance.  you've been such a great help."

bm "sure, i remember it well."

THE END

***********************************************************************************************************************

hooray to the defense dept. staff!!!!!!!!



********************************************************************************************************

Friday, October 22, 2010

DEFENSE DEPT. SAFETY SPECS - PART II

(continued)

armed with my complete safety cookbook, canned textbook answer sheet, boilerplate worksheet, automaton like defense dept. mentality conducive to a stepford (or sparta, new jersey) mentality, and framed certificate certifying that i was an expert in determining ammunition safety with imprimatur, raised seal and appropriate signatures i reported to my bossman's office.

the bossman said, "you have a free hand.  the ball is in your court.  run with it.  go, go, go."

"i will.  i will.  i will."

"for your first assignment you will prepare a safety specification for the xm34e1 flotation fragmentation mine, cooking, auto-loading, self-actuating, really expensive device.  "

"yes, sir, i'm on my way."

DEFENSE DEPT. IN ACTION
i ran to my cubicle hung my official framed, signed, and sealed certificate assuring my competence in preparation of ammunition safety specifications like the looney tunes engineer in the next cubicle who had his phd diploma tacked to his wall ... ummm ...partition thing.

and started working to save our country and support our troops.

(to be continued)

***********************************************************************************************************

DEFENSE DEPT, MANAGEMENT AT WORK FOR YOU:

(its not how or where you jump, its how high you jump, and how fast you can sing and dance.)




********************************************************************************************************

Thursday, October 21, 2010

DEFENSE DEPT. SAFETY SPECS - PART I

my boss sent me to a four hour intensive session on ammunition production safety specs.  the teacher sent by some outrageously priced contractor came in late, told a few bizarre, bigoted (mainly black and jew) jokes, drank his coffee, ate his box of donuts, adjusted his 42" belt, looked for a blackboard, chalk, took attendance, asked for a projector, waited for installation of projector, searched for electrical outlet, waited for bulb to be replaced, informed us of a rabbi's bad behavior on his holiest day, and blackpeople eating watermelon, burped, went for a pee, loosened his pants, and called for a break.   

after our coffee break we got down to serious work.  we introduced ourselves, distributed boilerplate worksheets and textual materials (perfect for our engineers and scientists).  teacher actually picked up a piece of chalk and started making diagrams, squares, and circles on the board.  he then inserted a graphic into the projector which to my surprise he knew how to work.  trying to stay awake i drew a variety of pictures on my worksheet.


very soon teacher began complaining about hunger pangs and as happy as a pig in shit about his great presentation sent us on our way early after distributing framed certificates with our names, official imprints and signatures for course completion, he asked for directions to the cafeteria and disappeared.

now fully prepared and anxious to start my project with new and exciting information i returned to the office enthusiastic to write up my first safety spec to keep our nation and defenses secure.  yea!

(to be continued)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

GRIEVOUS ALCS


looks like the texas hayseeds will beat the historic and great NEW YORK YANKEES in the alcs.  but when all is said and done they will still be hayseeds and the YANKEES will still be remembered forever.

***********************************************************************************************

JOE DIMAGGIO, FOREVER.



**********************************************************************************************

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

DIABLO III: NEW CHARACTER????




i hope blizzard incorporates my new character, GERIATRICMAN.

some of his powers, special weapons, and defenses are:
a. knee and hip socket replacement empowers him with greater agility.
b. a cane super weapon imbued with sword and fire power.
c. magical meds for invisibility  and added stamina, speed, and agility.
d. walkers equipped with weapons and armor.
e. super powerful prostate muscle for long range destruction.
f. writing a new magical will diminishes opponents strength, desire, and power.

diablo, himself can be lulled into a mesmerized state by, GERIACTRICMAN,  telling him about how he went to school uphill in a snowstorm with the wind in his face and .............

**************************************************************************************************************

other stuff could be --

a money globe. periodically refilled by social security checks, you die if it goes to zero.

magical osteoporosis inflicted on demons.

baldspot vulnerability - the character’s deadly weakness.

heart valve replacement necessary for exciting melee mode.

************************************************************************************************


wikipedia:  "Trem das Onze" (English: The 11 P.M. train) is a famous classical samba composition by Brazilian singer Adoniran Barbosa (1912-1982), released in 1964 and made famous that same year by the samba group Demônios da Garoa. It is widely considered one of the best Brazilian popular songs ever. ....."



couldn't find any visual of this particular version.  sad, sad, sad. 

**********************************************************************************************************
i'm not sure but the words seem to say that the singer is dumping his lover??? huh?



Translation


I can't stay
Not even another minute with you
I am sorry, love
But it can not be
I live in Jaçanã
If I miss this train
That leaves now at 11 PM
Only tomorrow morning
And besides that, woman
There's another thing
My mother doesn't sleep
Until I get home
I'm an only child
I have my house to look after

Monday, October 18, 2010

DALLAS COWBOYS LAME EXCUSES CAN'T HACK IT

the dog ate the playbook,

christine o'donnell put a spell on tony romo.

in texas, being wiped out is a considered a great victory like at the alamo.

i especially like the excuse for last week where a longer kickoff was responsible for a sorta "walk-off" touchdown.

nevermind texas, you are pathetic.

********************************************************************
****go jets********go giants******go yankees************************************
********************************************************************

Sunday, October 17, 2010

GO RANGERS - heh, heh

i'm so happy for texas that they won yesterday because texans have so little to live for.  a little happiness has entered their miserable lives.

the yankees who have everything may win upon returning to nyc.

*******************************************************************************

 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

GOD BLESS YOU, EVERYONE

i was just reading about the atheists meeting in LA.  seems there are fundamentalist atheists and conservative atheists and reform atheists.  i am of the, "personally, i don't give a damn", school of atheism.  you can all go on your merry blinded way .........


http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/16/us/16beliefs.html?_r=1&ref=us

********************************************************************************

GO YANQUIS


i could only last four innings in last night's yankee game.  150 year olds have a problem with late hours and excitement after 4 in the afternoon. 

the main cause of the ranger defeat was the presence of super loser george w bush in the stadium.  they may do better today.  just keep republicans out or at least keep them at bay.  or call in christine o'donnell to cast a spell on the yanks.

*****************************************************************************************************

"Don't Stop Believing"


Friday, October 15, 2010

CAPE MAY UBER ALLES


just back from cape may, new (ugh) jersey.  we went on a u-boat search.  no bastard germans off shore.  they seemed to have landed.  cluttering up our land.   http://www.uboatarchive.net/U-858Photos.htm

on the way there i had to pass through witch country - christine o'donnell's turf of southern delaware to get to the lewes/cape may ferry.  did not see any demons or witches on the trip.

*****************************************************************************************

"Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead"

Thursday, October 14, 2010

ICH BIN EINE CHILEAN MINE WORKER

its a good thing that the chileans didn't ask for help from an american businessman because we would have spent a billion dollars by now.  the businessman would be askng for more money, and the miners would be dead.

our NASA, a (aaarrgggh) governmental socialist entity provided some expertise.  not bp, newt gingrich or donald trump.



****************************************************************************************************************************

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

AMERICA TAKE NOTE

cheers to chilean miners for their natural strength and spirit. 

i think survival or this type of work would be almost impossible for the average complaining, drug addicted, spoiled american.  i'm sure i would have needed several elephant sized tranquilizers for my survival.


do they have a disabled program?  handicapped ramp?  sex harassment administrator?  gay rights?

nevermind.

**********************************************************************************************************