DEFENSE DEPT. SAFETY SPECS - PART I

my boss sent me to a four hour intensive session on ammunition production safety specs.  the teacher sent by some outrageously priced contractor came in late, told a few bizarre, bigoted (mainly black and jew) jokes, drank his coffee, ate his box of donuts, adjusted his 42" belt, looked for a blackboard, chalk, took attendance, asked for a projector, waited for installation of projector, searched for electrical outlet, waited for bulb to be replaced, informed us of a rabbi's bad behavior on his holiest day, and blackpeople eating watermelon, burped, went for a pee, loosened his pants, and called for a break.   

after our coffee break we got down to serious work.  we introduced ourselves, distributed boilerplate worksheets and textual materials (perfect for our engineers and scientists).  teacher actually picked up a piece of chalk and started making diagrams, squares, and circles on the board.  he then inserted a graphic into the projector which to my surprise he knew how to work.  trying to stay awake i drew a variety of pictures on my worksheet.


very soon teacher began complaining about hunger pangs and as happy as a pig in shit about his great presentation sent us on our way early after distributing framed certificates with our names, official imprints and signatures for course completion, he asked for directions to the cafeteria and disappeared.

now fully prepared and anxious to start my project with new and exciting information i returned to the office enthusiastic to write up my first safety spec to keep our nation and defenses secure.  yea!

(to be continued)