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one of the people (a phd) i worked with lost a friend who fell down a flight of stairs after taking drugs and drinking. today's fictitious item is dedicated to this co-worker and his friend:
LIGHTS UP
Co-worker: my good friend fell down a flight of stairs and died .... sob, sob, whimper.
Me: thats so sad. how did that happen?
C: he was at a party and had a few drinks and stuff. he stepped outside to get some fresh air when it happened.
M: so he was drunk?
C: he also had some recreational drugs. very little.
M: just a few drinks and drugs?
C: we both got our phd's at the same time. he was so smart.
M: sooooo, he was very smart and was drinking and taking drugs and staggered outside for some fresh air and fell down a flight of stairs and died and thats why i should feel sorry for him and you.
C: he was just having fun .... whimper, sob, whine, whine, whine.
M: apparently he was not smart enough. i guess they'll give phds to anyone. all you have to do is pay them money and sit on your butt through hundreds of class hours. these things happen when you drink and take drugs. i guess you can make a (faux) silk purse from a sow's ear as they say. suck it up.
C: whine, whine, whine, whimper, ..................................................
LIGHTS DOWN
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