30 YEAR RETIREMENT PRE-CELEBRATION

since y'never know when you'll fall over --- dead, i'm celebrating 30 years of retirement today although its a few years premature.

i have found my calling doing nothing.  i'm good at it.

***********************************************************************************

i retired early on the exact day i was eligible.  over the years i worked, i got advice from the management:

division chief large caliber ammunition, rutkowski:  "you can always quit".

section chief tech services directorate, conway:  "no one ever quits".

project leader, guida:  "after all we've done for you.... you're quitting?".

YES, I QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**********************************************************************************************

ceasefire in israel affects economy.  y'know, of course, that our military and contractors just LOVE the conflict. israel and gaza is our proving ground. testing anti- ballistic missiles and high tech ammunition and spending your dough.

meanwhile, we argue as to who is in the right.   ********************************************************************************************

YES, THE GOVERNMENT IS HERE TO HELP YOU

the paradigm of the grand bargain by congress will draw a line in the sand preventing going over the fiscal cliff.... whatever that is and whoever they are.  yea!

whew, and i was worried.

****************************************************************************************************

MY IMPENDING DEATH

the chances of my living another ten years are probably a lot less than 50%. soooooo, i am concerned as to how it will affect and appear to the rest of my little world.


before i die it is important that i outlive as many of the nitwits and other people that have annoyed me. this can only partially be accomplished. so i have to be satisfied with trying to optimize this goal. in the old days you could hang their shrunken heads outside your cave or tepee but today this would be frowned upon. you must be satisfied with attending their funeral and enjoying any food and drink supplied after the fun event.

the worst and most embarrassing thing about death is that your heirs will find all the bizarre things you have saved, bought, or cherished not in the order you gave them. most of the stuff has just been accumulated and not discarded but no one knows that except you. they will laugh and misunderstand and you will appear stupider than you already are and will gossip about it. this is the worst part of my impending demise.

bye, sob, sob, sob...................

*******************************************************************

PETRAEUSGATE II

"birds do it, bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it, let's fall in love. "


WE MUST SHUT DOWN EVERY OFFICER'S CLUB. THEY ARE WORKS OF THE DEVIL.

actually every civilian and military person working for the defense dept. is a security threat.  put them all under arrest.

***************************************************************************************************************

PETRAEUSGATE

this story has taken on all the characteristics of third rate gossip from a northern new jersey town. i feel like i'm home again in morris county. yea.

*******************************************************************************************



*****************************************************************************************

WHAT I LEARNED FROM REPUBLICANS

what i learned from republicans during this election cycle:

the south will rise again;
the earth is flat and ends at the bermuda triangle;
evil sperm cells will be rejected by ladies' parts;
prayer improves things by 30% unless you pray to allah;
the universe was created on oct. 23, 4004 bc;
raising taxes on those who can afford it will increase taxes on those that pay none;

haircutting techniques have improved over the past 5000 years;
hurricanes are caused by homosexuals;
we are going over "THE FISCAL CLIFF" which will result in .... ummm ... less ipods being sold.

***************************************************************************************

forgotten losers of history:

1816 federalist party candidate, rufus king

1832 anti-masonic party candidate, william wirt

1836 whig party candidate, hugh lawson white

1848 democratic candidate, lewis cass

1852 whig party candidate, winfield scott

and of course

2012 republican party candidate, willard mitt romney.

***********************************************************************

in only two more days we kickoff for the hillary clinton presidential run.  thats after barry wins his second term tomorrow.

i still can't understand why the Rs in the red states are concerned with taxes when they are the ones R is talking about in the 47 percent.  everyone in the blue states i know are working their Bs off trying to be good people living a good life in this great country. 

just a bizarre world.  the Rs are living in an alternate space/time continuum.

speaking of an alternate space/time continuum, i sinned beyond redemption yesterday when i failed to put out the recycling.  i beg forgiveness ...... sob.

******************************************************************************************************************

CHRIS CHRISTIE FINDS HIS WAY

chris christie heaped praise on obama for helping him with his huge problems in new jersey this morning.  he sees the light. 

i heard him on the scarborough show.  joe really seemed to grit his teeth and strain his face to keep his head from exploding.  if romney gets elected, as they say, who you goin to call, "ghostbusters"?

****************************************************************************************

SUPER GERIATRIC DIET - COPYRIGHT: MAYBE

full of energy because of my super geriatric diet ..... and here it is:

pasta, rice, and double dutch chocolate cake with chocolate chips and fudge icing.  to fill in any nutritional gaps, top it off with pizza and beer.  don't forget your vitamin and mineral supplements.

ROARRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrr!

****************************************************************************************************************

waiting patiently for election day when the romney plague will be swept away.  the american people in all their ... ummm ... wisdom? seem to be getting it.  he will lose as i've previously said by 8% nationally.  he will take the south because they still think its 1860 but as i recall truman lost the south when they were democrats and yet he won.

****************************************************************************************

so sad that tropical storm, sandy, may interfere with the children's holloween.... sob, sob,.. poor children.

***********************************************************************************

GETTING AROUND AT 90

there's the:

stagger
half stagger
quarter stagger
semi-fall with catch
fall with no catch
fall with can't get up.

get used to it.

*****************************************************************************

BYE

just sayin'::


O's numbers are moving up in intrade. i like intrade because they have no axe to grind. they're only trying to book bets. other organizations are either too cautious , wrong or brazenly lieing.

mr. romney, you may look like a president so go to central casting and count your blessings. bye.   ***********************************************************************************************

IT'S OHIO STUPID

this is the intrade electoral map this morning.  as they've been saying and i have no reason as of right now to deny it, "IT'S OHIO, STUPID". 

i still cannot understand why obama will not win by 8 points as the lds people take me away to be burned at the stake.  just kidding.

********************************************************************************************************

WINNERS ONLY, PLEASE

we only support winners.  yankees, who are they?  nationals, huh. whut?

after the skins scored with one and a half minutes to go yesterday, i said, " but we've got eli".  my wife said, " who's that?".  "eli manning, nothing to worry about".  on the next play he threw the winning touchdown.  my only concern was there was still a minute on the clock.  they shoulda run some time off the clock before scoring the expected certain score.  just kidding.  go giants.

being that i was a ny baseball giant fan, i see the san francisco giants are hosting the final game in the national league playoffs and i'll support them right up to the minute they're sent home.

obama who's that?  his image is starting to fade in my mind.  i can't wait 'til lds men in black suits flood our neighborhood parking lots and after romney/ryan suck up to the arab oil interests there will be burka clad women all over.  just make sure they haven't strapped on some ied of course iuds will be illegal.

*****************************************************************************************************

WONDERLAND II

for the walrus and carpenter scene in the,  "Through the Looking- Glass" segment we think that, donald trump should be the walrus and, paul ryan should play the carpenter.  the trusting oysters will be played by you, the common people.


The sun was shining on the sea,


Shining with all his might:

He did his very best to make

The billows smooth and bright--

And this was odd, because it was

The middle of the night.





The moon was shining sulkily,

Because she thought the sun

Had got no business to be there

After the day was done--

"It's very rude of him," she said,

"To come and spoil the fun!"





The sea was wet as wet could be,

The sands were dry as dry.

You could not see a cloud, because

No cloud was in the sky:

No birds were flying overhead--

There were no birds to fly.





The Walrus and the Carpenter

Were walking close at hand;

They wept like anything to see

Such quantities of sand:

"If this were only cleared away,"

They said, "it would be grand!"





"If seven maids with seven mops

Swept it for half a year.

Do you suppose," the Walrus said,

"That they could get it clear?"

"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,

And shed a bitter tear.





"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"

The Walrus did beseech.

"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,

Along the briny beach:

We cannot do with more than four,

To give a hand to each."





The eldest Oyster looked at him,

But never a word he said:

The eldest Oyster winked his eye,

And shook his heavy head--

Meaning to say he did not choose

To leave the oyster-bed.





But four young Oysters hurried up,

All eager for the treat:

Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,

Their shoes were clean and neat--

And this was odd, because, you know,

They hadn't any feet.





Four other Oysters followed them,

And yet another four;

And thick and fast they came at last,

And more, and more, and more--

All hopping through the frothy waves,

And scrambling to the shore.





The Walrus and the Carpenter

Walked on a mile or so,

And then they rested on a rock

Conveniently low:

And all the little Oysters stood

And waited in a row.





"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things:

Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--

Of cabbages--and kings--

And why the sea is boiling hot--

And whether pigs have wings."





"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,

"Before we have our chat;

For some of us are out of breath,

And all of us are fat!"

"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.

They thanked him much for that.





"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,

"Is what we chiefly need:

Pepper and vinegar besides

Are very good indeed--

Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,

We can begin to feed."





"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,

Turning a little blue.

"After such kindness, that would be

A dismal thing to do!"

"The night is fine," the Walrus said.

"Do you admire the view?





"It was so kind of you to come!

And you are very nice!"

The Carpenter said nothing but

"Cut us another slice:

I wish you were not quite so deaf--

I've had to ask you twice!"





"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,

"To play them such a trick,

After we've brought them out so far,

And made them trot so quick!"

The Carpenter said nothing but

"The butter's spread too thick!"





"I weep for you," the Walrus said:

"I deeply sympathize."

With sobs and tears he sorted out

Those of the largest size,

Holding his pocket-handkerchief

Before his streaming eyes.





"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,

"You've had a pleasant run!

Shall we be trotting home again?'

But answer came there none--

And this was scarcely odd, because

They'd eaten every one.
******************************************************************************************

WONDERLAND

looking forward to the next administration.   history will call it, "america in wonderland".  ruled by pathologic-psycho-liars.  btw, the queen of hearts was on the view, yesterday.  still crazy and shallow.

*********************************************************************************************************

the "alice in wonderland " administration movie is being prepared:

mitt romney as the king of hearts

ann romney as the queen of hearts

john sununu as the mad hatter

george bush as the dormouse

eric cantor as the march hare

karl rove as the cheshire cat.



work is continuing.   ****************************************************************************************************

BESIDES THE WOEFUL PERFORMANCE OF THE YANKEES

we also saw the berserker republican presidential candidate try to run over everyone at the presidential debate.  you don't tell the president of the united states that you are in charge.  just take him away for therapy.

******************************************************************************************

VOTING FOR WHITEY

it is clear that the great O, at the first debate was thinking, "i'm the president".  "who is this shit i have to debate?"

who knew the electorate is so stupid.

watching a video clip of ann romney (and hubby) in high fashion clothes and a magnificent hairdo, i wondered how the other 99% of women who look like they just climbed out of a dumpster could vote republican.

i'm still going with an 8% O win over mr. nobody.

*********************************************************************************************************************************

NATIONALS BOW OUT

NATIONALS, THE BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL LOST YESTERDAY IN WHAT MUST HAVE BEEN AN EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL EXPERIENCE.  A SLOW BUT SEEMINGLY PAINFUL, FATEFUL EXPERIENCE.

i truly feel for nationals fans having suffered so much during this game ... really. my condolences.


on the other hand, my new york yankees throttled the whiney baltimore fans team, orioles. yea. sorta, a part repayment for the new york giant loss to the balt. colts of 1958.

am i rambling?   *******************************************************************************************************

GO YANKEES!!!

last night's game against the Os would make a really corny movie.  ibanez batting for $30 million dollar star, a-rod, hits the tying home run with one out in the ninth and then hits the winning home run in the twelfth. 

in the first inning, jeter, helped the oriole runner go past second base and tagged him out.  baltimore fans whining about this - so sad.   btw, jeter sold his trump tower suite for $15 million.  he earns his keep.

*********************************************************************************************************

YES, REPUBLICANS WIN PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

watching the  ...ummm ...  presidential ?? debate ... this week i learned that being rude, inconsiderate, dishonest, and not following rules are leadership qualities.

***************************************************************************************************

MORE MIRACLES

which is the miracle?

a burning bush in an arid sun baked desert that you think is talking to you after you spent the day in the sun without a hat or water or food in 110 F heat.

or

getting nude pictures of "kate middleton", via your computer.

????????????????????????

ummmm .......

***************************************************************************************************

THE GOLEM OF SALT LAKE CITY

romney runs rampant over law, order and participants in debate with the great O.   R should have been thrown out,

************************************************************************************************************************

THAT WAS WONDERFUL, MR. ROMNEY.

great presentation, mr. romney.

thanks, for dropping by.

we'll call you.

your coat is in the corner - there.

that was great.

nice seeing you. 

y'all comeback soon.

yup.

good job.

did i mention, we'll call.

*************************************************************************************

ho, hum, yankees in their 51st (the announcer said) extra season event. 

GO YANKEES!

****************************************************************************************

DEBATE TIPS FOR ROMNEY

from the outset establish your dominence.  remind O that he is not a whiteman.  throw out a really funny joke like , "how many people of polish descent do you need to screw in a lightbulb?" (har, har); or, "my administration will hold on to a shekel better than a hasid" (really funny); or do an imitation of charlie chaplain's character in the "great dictator" with funny mustache.  this will really win over america.

assure the country that they will never go hungry.  watermelon and fried chicken will always be available or if you prefer mayonnaise and white bread for the more discriminating palates.

be sure to send subliminal messages like humming, "god bless america", while others are talking.

be sure to suggest that O may not have been born in this country.   "hawaii??, thats just a tourist destination".

assure america that we will invade any country that slights us in any way.

we will support our troops by giving out more medals.

mention that women are really cute and can do useful things like scrubbing floors.

for more great help, mr romney an call me direct.
  
*************************************************************************************************************************

other stuff - imus' guest this morning informed us that O had not had anything to do with bin laden's death.  it was a group of navy seals who in the back of the shower room in the barracks put the plan together with the help of the RNC, dick cheney, and george bush to do the job. 

finally, the truth,

*************************************************************************************************************************

FAREWELL: DEDICATED TO WILLARD

OR




**********************************************************************************************

since 1992 no one has been elected president who had sons.  sorry willard.  you are out.  bye.

***************************************************************************************************

MIRACLES

on my right side is a painting of a religious icon who is crying,

in front of me is a stone wall that has water flowing on it.

in my left hand i hold an ipod which plays songs, audio books, speeches, movies, plays chess, and gives me the yankee score.

which one is the miracle?

let me think .........

water on picture? -

wet spot on wall? -

ipod?

yessssss ..... WET SPOT ON WALL.

thank you, god.

***********************************************************************************************************

JIMMY HOFFA REVISITED

after my circumstantial evidence showed that jimmy hoffa's body was buried behind the old a&p in the remains of the old morris canal in ledgewood, nj because of mafia influence in the area and the property was owned by a las vegas firm, we find out that an investigation is going on in the detroit area by authorities (????). 

do not reject my theory or the theory that he is buried in the endzone** of giants stadium.  at any rate new jersey is a prime location.

**wikipedia:      "This led Sports Illustrated to suggest that this "takes on special meaning when a punter goes for the 'coffin corner.'" In a similar vein, sportscaster Marv Albert once said that a team was "kicking towards the Hoffa end of the field." This was tested by the Discovery Channel show Mythbusters, and they were unable to find any sign of a body."

***************************************************************************

THIS JUST IN:

our sources tell us -

prez. O was a zulu warrior;

serving under his father, a zulu chief;

and

fought against michael caine in that movie;

who led mitt romney to victory;

who was born in a manger in minnesota;

and

was visited by three wisemen, newt gingrich, ann coulter, and john sununu;

who arrived in their limousines;

and

were given gifts by the baby romney;

including a time share in the cayman islands.

*********************************************************************************************************************

MORE BORING ELECTION STUFF - JUST SAYIN'

this morning's line for, O, on intrade is selling at about 75%.

as i (the greatone) previously said months ago, O will win by 8% nationally. mitt will need to have a comeback to lose by only 8% nationally.

if mccain lost by 7% last time how can mitt even come close to that.   *********************************************************************************************************

THE PANDA CUB MYSTERIOUS DEATH CASE

when the mittster takes office we will invade some mid-east nation for the mysterious death of our beloved panda cub.  we will pass laws giving panda fetuses all the rights given to us by god and the constitution which was wriiten by god and his supervisors.

************************************************************************************************

ROMNEY LOVES EVERYONE

practically overnight romney loves all americans.
                  XXX OOO XXX OOO
he loves you.   yes he does.  yes he does.  yes he does.

you are not a deadbeat, no matter what they say.

**************************************************************************************

MANDATORY REMEDIAL MATH AND ECO

mandatory remedial mathematics and economics for all members of our government especially congress people is necesssary for the survival of this nation.  it is clear from our deficits and the collection and distribution of federal government monies that the three branches of government are sadly deficient in basic financial literacy.

i suspect that they are just not smart enough.  nevermind.

**************************************************************************************************

the 47% can always borrow from their parents.


whut? why is that a problem?   ***************************************************************************************

those freeloaders, that 47% the ugly party talks about must be mostly from the red states.  the major northeast megalopolises are humming hives of activity.  romney is talking about his base, his constituency.

******************************************************************************************

OCTOBER SURPRISE

looking forward to the ugly party's october surprises.  how will they spin obama's life or imagined life to win the presidency?  they can rerun the swiftboat ads they ran eight years ago.  no one cares whether they are truthful or apply in this case.  just run something.  obama's zulu warrior period?  or when he got taliban training?  or remember when he sent troops to the odessa steps.


Odessa Steps clip: Battleship Potemkin (1925)



**************************************************************************************************

THE 32 YEARS OF THE CLINTON DYNASTY

HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES (1992-2024: THE CLINTON YEARS)

the clinton dynasty began with his election as president of the united states in 1992.  although he was greatly harassed by the opposing ugly party because of a minor indiscretion with a young woman who should have been more discreet.  the nation prospered.

until

we were hijacked in 2000 by the opposing ugly, corrupt force of the bush administration who controlled the thugs on the supreme court and the war lords.  the  beleaguered clinton legacy survived through the incredible stupidity of these years thru 2008. 

but we remembered and

clinton's guiding light prevailed.  and it enhanced the eight years of the obama administration thru 2016 when we went into the greatest period of american growth with the hillary clinton administration. 

in 2024 the kennedy clan reclaimed dominence; children and grand children and great grand children of the heirs of joe (the bastard) kennedy.  they took the reins of our government and we have been a world power ever since.

bill clinton was awarded a posthumous FOUNDING FATHER appellation and statue next to ronald reagan on the mall in 2062 and we all lived happily ever after.

copyright 2999.

************************************************************************************************************

THE RATS (REPUBLICANS ARE TERRIFFIC) PARTY GIVES UP

as the thugs in egypt and libya struck our embassies, the RATs party blamed obama in order to get votes.  sadly the attempt has not only failed but has caused an implosion among the RATs.  even john sununu of the RATs party thought their nominee for president was out of line for his misplaced and premature denunciation of the obama administration.  on the other hand, lynne cheney, the evil witch appeared to agree that the criticism was fine.  meanwhile joe scarborough is going ballistic trying to justufy the RATs party overall position. 

good luck to the RATs in 2016.

*********************************************************************************************************

POLITICS AS USUAL

what a waste of time listening to the political lunatics.  just hopin'for the best.  dumb luck is our only hope.

i might as well listen to sheila kravitz of nitwit township, new jersey.  afterall her husband is an engineer capable of putting a swing set together.

excuse me.  i have to get back to looking at the pictures in my greenhouse assembly booklet.

***************************************************************************************************

jets begin season today.  looking forward to another 8-8 (or whatever) season.

**********************************************************************************************

WHAT? YOU DON'T OWN A GREEN HOUSE?

as i may have mentioned i bought a small do-it-yourself (sorta) greenhouse from the internet.  actually it was more like a cold frame on legs. 

BUT i received a small greenhouse 4'x6' instead.  i decided after much  anguish to keep it.  the instructions say it takes two people s1x hours to assemble.  after a week, i am up to step 22 of 50.

of course, when complete, i have to add a floor and shelves and planters and soil and seeds and plants and my tender loving care.  hopefully, maybe, i can have (with the help of the GEORGE BUSH  weather) bright, perky annual flowers in it on my patio into january.  in my dreams i can see a garden of eden from my back rooms.

****************************************************************************************************

y'know the home owners association does not want anyone to have a vegetable garden but a greenhouse growing vegetables would probably be welcomed showing that our community is classy and upscale.  i don't quite get it that vegetables in a garden is owned by a dirt farmer but vegetables in a greenhouse is owned by the lord of the manor.

************************************************************************************************

DISASTERS OF THE WEEK

so sad that ny giants seemed so inept, sluggish and ... ummm ... old, losing to the cowboys.

yankees crumble and seem destined to the trash bin of history.

if i'm lucky i'll see a better year in the future although i haven't given up on the GIANTS (YEA, YEA, YEA) yet.  and the jets (yea) haven't started their season yet.  go jets.  god of course is on their side with the addition of tebow.

*******************************************************************************************************

some republicans have said that michelle obama does not look like a first lady.  must be that she's not staggering around the white house with a drink in her hand.

***************************************************************************************************

*******************************************************************************************************

JUST SAYIN'

al gore stays away from convention but -------------


"New Yorker (blog)-15 hours ago


Al Gore, whose margin of popular victory in 2000 was four times bigger than John F. Kennedy's in 1960 and only a little smaller than Richard ... "   ******************************************************************************************************************   its interesting that fox news does not think the dem convention is worth covering as they stick to news items about the next greatest candidates, romney, ryan, and daffy duck.    *****************************************************************************************************

YEA, PAUL RYAN

certainly, paul ryan. is the greatest american politician.  he can leap tall buildibgs in a single bound.  he will straighten your teeth and cure your herpes while cutting your medical expenses.  he will find you a job when none seeem to exist.  yea, yea, yea!  go for it. 

instead of wasting your time watching the (ugh) democratic convention tonight, i know i'll be watching the nfl game.  the great wall street favored new york giants against the team from boondocks-america, the dallas (har, har) cowboys.

**************************************************************************************************************

BRONX NO MORE.

quickly, i was updated about bronx shopping areas by followers.  i didn't mention 174th street or 165th off westchester ave. and simpson.  great stores and shopkeepers.  gone and replaced by fast-ugh-food and super-duper markets.

****************************************************************************************************

OLDE TYME BRONX COOKING





sorry that all you affluent, educated and brilliant people have to fake your indulgence of inferior food.  yes, you are all gourmets and intellectuals and you can describe your vittles in the most beautiful, elegant manner but you're not fooling anyone; at best its ok (sorta').

but if you would just step inside my wayback machine i will escort you to the bronx of the 1930s, in the midst of the great depression.

here we are on 180th st. with food markets with fresh produce and meats and live chickens and fish; appetizing stores with various nuts, candies, pickles in the barrel, olives - black, green, oil cured; smoked salmon, condiments, etc,; bakeries with really fresh just baked breads, cakes, rolls, bagels, bialys. and among the other stores the great witkin's delicatessen which would be competitive with current katz's on houston street.

with tears i return to the present time when you have to go to san francisco, or dallas or chicago or the moon to get something decent to eat.  i know all you gourmets can bs about your epicurean adventures in greece, thailand or up the yangtse but you need go no further than 180th street between vyse and honeywell.  and you can keep your pretensions.

*****************************************************************************************************************

i was wrong.  it was the, slim whitman, version of, indian love call, that made the martians heads explode in, mars attacks.

*********************************************************************************************************

THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF THE MARTIANS:



*********************************************************************************************************

THE END OF THE MARTIANS:



NO, ITS NOT THE END OF THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION.

****************************************************************************************************

RIP NOMNEY FOR PRESIDENT

we're going to run this country like a business: skim profits off the top; keep two sets of books; and cheapen the product with short cuts   ---  YEA!

***************************************************************************************************

we can clearly see what the nomney administration will do as they immediately go on vacation after the convention.  yess, these are my kind of people,

***************************************************************************************************