passover
fortunately for me i escaped the passover service which was supposed to last a half hour before dinnertime.
this night was different from other nights because i ate in another section of the dining room that did not disturb those attending the service. i sat down, ate, and left before the leader got through describing about half the plagues.
there are several questions that i have of this annual service, which should not be of any comfort to any other religion considering their defects which i will not discuss here.
1. the plague descriptions are horrendous and should not be embraced by a civilized and peace loving religion.
2. where was god when the religion really needed him/her (whatever) in mid 20th century?
currently the service is sorta' designed to be a didactic (hate that word. only phonies use it) and fun experience. in the old days it was a long drawn out ritual and dinner was not served for many hours. after one passover dinner my father and uncle in their mid-teens ran away from home and started working in detroit
on the otherhand many families overlooking the nonsensical religious part find that the holiday is a unifying event. many people can recall fondly dinners involving many, many friends and relatives seated and eating together at long tables sometimes stretching into the next room. underneath all the pretense is a celebration of freedom. freedom in this case from slavery.
anyway at the rehab center i was told that i did the right thing. i ate, heard a few words of the service, and left the area.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT: DOCTORS.
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Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XIV
MURPHY'S LAW PLUS
this is my faith based religion. anyone with another faith based religion - good luck with it.
my take on murphy's law is anything that can go wrong will go wrong and anything that can go right will go right except they occur at random probably inappropriate times.
how does this relate to healthcare? well its like this. while at the hospital no one could define what was wrong with me. every few minutes it seemed blood samples were taken and a variety of drugs, medicines, whatever were injected into me, and i think some needles were stuck into me for the entertainment of the staff or not. i'm sure some made me worse and some made me better. my faith and belief in murphy's law plus decided like in a crap shoot to allow a recovery.
the simplest example of murphy's law in action is the plastic container i used for urination. some of the things that can go wrong with what appears to be the simplest of devices especially at 3 am:
1. failure to remove plastic cap.
2. tipping the container accidentally and emptying it into your bed.
3. thinking you are aiming into the container but you are outside the container.
4. aiming at the side and spraying the area.
5. failure to hold while searching for the device which has disappeared.
i'm sure there are other failure modes that i have not discovered.
my desription and experience with murphy's law plus can also explain what other people claim is impossible. awhile back my ipod earphone cord through absolutely no help from myself became intricately knotted. so knotted that it is not comprehensible to me how it occurred naturally which it did.
now isaac bashevis singer related his belief that life could not have started by itself because the right chemicals were present and they accidentally combined into a life form. his example (my interpretation) was that if you dump all the parts of a clock on a table they will never assemble themselves into a clock thus clearly disproving the scientific explanation of the beginnings of life on earth. using murphy's law plus and my experience with my ipod earphone cord, and my hospital and rehab experience i can positively say that all the pieces of the clock will eventually assemble themselves into a working clock. no doubt about it.
then there is the sorta' murphy's law description of a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters eventually typing out the complete works of shakespeare. of course this is ridiculous. some dorky phd who got it from some other dorky phd probably thinks he is so smart explaining the laws of probability - snore -zzzz. 200 college credits sitting on your butt will not make you smart only delusional. its just stupid and would never happen. just give it up. actually murphy's law plus does not apply here. i just wanted to say this.
TO BE CONTINUED. PASSOXER DINNER AND STUFF
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this is my faith based religion. anyone with another faith based religion - good luck with it.
my take on murphy's law is anything that can go wrong will go wrong and anything that can go right will go right except they occur at random probably inappropriate times.
how does this relate to healthcare? well its like this. while at the hospital no one could define what was wrong with me. every few minutes it seemed blood samples were taken and a variety of drugs, medicines, whatever were injected into me, and i think some needles were stuck into me for the entertainment of the staff or not. i'm sure some made me worse and some made me better. my faith and belief in murphy's law plus decided like in a crap shoot to allow a recovery.
the simplest example of murphy's law in action is the plastic container i used for urination. some of the things that can go wrong with what appears to be the simplest of devices especially at 3 am:
1. failure to remove plastic cap.
2. tipping the container accidentally and emptying it into your bed.
3. thinking you are aiming into the container but you are outside the container.
4. aiming at the side and spraying the area.
5. failure to hold while searching for the device which has disappeared.
i'm sure there are other failure modes that i have not discovered.
my desription and experience with murphy's law plus can also explain what other people claim is impossible. awhile back my ipod earphone cord through absolutely no help from myself became intricately knotted. so knotted that it is not comprehensible to me how it occurred naturally which it did.
now isaac bashevis singer related his belief that life could not have started by itself because the right chemicals were present and they accidentally combined into a life form. his example (my interpretation) was that if you dump all the parts of a clock on a table they will never assemble themselves into a clock thus clearly disproving the scientific explanation of the beginnings of life on earth. using murphy's law plus and my experience with my ipod earphone cord, and my hospital and rehab experience i can positively say that all the pieces of the clock will eventually assemble themselves into a working clock. no doubt about it.
then there is the sorta' murphy's law description of a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters eventually typing out the complete works of shakespeare. of course this is ridiculous. some dorky phd who got it from some other dorky phd probably thinks he is so smart explaining the laws of probability - snore -zzzz. 200 college credits sitting on your butt will not make you smart only delusional. its just stupid and would never happen. just give it up. actually murphy's law plus does not apply here. i just wanted to say this.
TO BE CONTINUED. PASSOXER DINNER AND STUFF
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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XIII
the BATTLE OF THE BULGE war hero, the perfessor, sophie (ginger and mary ann rolled into one)and jor-el superman's father and mr. unknown.
the greatest person i have ever met was among those at my mealtime table, ed, a purple heart paratrooper of wwii. while i was in elementary school he was killing bastard germans during their last counterattack during wwii, the battle of the bulge. he saved my life and yours. the battle was, " ... the costliest battle in terms of casualties for the United States ... ". i mentioned ed's contribution in wwii to one of the teenage volunteers helping out at our table. it drew a blank as she fixed her hair. i suspect she thought being injured in the battle of the bulge was some sort of gym accident. I SALUTE YOU, ED.
sophie was our resident mealtime 93 year old female interest who rarely spoke. we did have one discussion the night i had my first shower in three weeeks and wore a fresh shirt.
"you're all dressed up. do you have a date?
"don't tell my wife".
"that's kind of fresh".
her daughter, granddaughter, and great granddaughter showed up occasionally.
the perfessor who i suspect misrepresented me and stole my private room. this would be the conclusion using occam's razor (why do academic's make simple things so complicated) or my grandma's principle. the evidence is all circumstantial but he's the only beneficiary of the private room. on the other hand this facility is basically a stepping stone to the nursing facility so almost anything could have happennd. he has a great reputation as an intellect and religious person. what the hell do i know? as they say, "can sixty million frenchmen be wrong?". ummm .. maybe.
joel, obviously a nom de plume of jor-el, superman's father. even superman and his father can get old. as you recall the planet krypton exploded but there is no definitive proof that jor-el and lara perished. i'm sure he managed to save himself and his wife before the terrible event. joel the person at our table is a highly intelligent person who must have had great strength before infirmity and age caught up with him. he did not deny that he actually was jor-el. his wife going under a different name now was also strong and intelligent.
i suspect that when jor-el and lara landed on earth they had no idea where his son's craft had landed. later they were afraid that superman would hold a grudge because of his abandonment. so sad.
mr. unknown in the second week attended our table for awhile. seemed like he wanted to prove something. forget it, at this point your life is over. any residuals you may receive are just lucky breaks. ed's wife mentioned that last year almost 70 years after the battle of the bulge the french government awarded ed a medal for his service. a residual well deserved.
my only dialogue i had with mr. nobody was while i was talking to jor-el,
me: i was lucky that no one expected much of me while growing up.
mr. nobody: and they weren't disappointed.
me: absolutely correct.
that was the last time he talked to me. where did his anger and hostility come from? do i care? no.
can't get angry at these people knowing first hand the pain and suffering they're going through.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT: MURPHY'S LAW PLUS.
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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XII
LAYMAN ECONOMICS
most of the rehab people i came in contact with didn't seem concerned about the actual costs they were running up. they were concerned about medicare, their supplemental insurance, perhaps even medicaid and other tax payer funded benefits, and the number of days of rehab eligibility. when i mentioned that the full retail value of the goods and services i received over the past 3 months must have amounted to half million dollars i was met more or less by blank stares. no wonder old people become entitled republicans without any empathy for anyone else when they blind themselves to the expenses they incur.
there is no understanding that their life is over. unless they are dick cheney they no longer hold any power that they imagined they had when competitive in the world.
as an example of the disconnect between their peresent condition and reality: i was trying to assemble a 300 piece jigsaw puzzle for my amusement and the dissipation of my boredom. reruns of gilligan's island on the tv were starting to get boring. anyway one of the residents looked over my shoulder and said, "even idiots can do jigsaw puzzles". in the competitive world which this is not it would be sorta' insulting. in this world of elderly cripples it is funny. whatever position or strata this guy is from it is over. he no longer has any power or relevance. a house cat has more relevance. amazingly he does not realize that he is pathetic and just about everyone will just walk away from him.
paul ryan please note that i was in the hospital a week and in rehab two weeks. never once did i have to reach for my wallet or credit card. it was a bit annoying that i could not buy a coke or snack since i had no money.
thanks, paul.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT:the war hero, the perfessor, ginger and mary ann and jor-el superman's father
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most of the rehab people i came in contact with didn't seem concerned about the actual costs they were running up. they were concerned about medicare, their supplemental insurance, perhaps even medicaid and other tax payer funded benefits, and the number of days of rehab eligibility. when i mentioned that the full retail value of the goods and services i received over the past 3 months must have amounted to half million dollars i was met more or less by blank stares. no wonder old people become entitled republicans without any empathy for anyone else when they blind themselves to the expenses they incur.
there is no understanding that their life is over. unless they are dick cheney they no longer hold any power that they imagined they had when competitive in the world.
as an example of the disconnect between their peresent condition and reality: i was trying to assemble a 300 piece jigsaw puzzle for my amusement and the dissipation of my boredom. reruns of gilligan's island on the tv were starting to get boring. anyway one of the residents looked over my shoulder and said, "even idiots can do jigsaw puzzles". in the competitive world which this is not it would be sorta' insulting. in this world of elderly cripples it is funny. whatever position or strata this guy is from it is over. he no longer has any power or relevance. a house cat has more relevance. amazingly he does not realize that he is pathetic and just about everyone will just walk away from him.
paul ryan please note that i was in the hospital a week and in rehab two weeks. never once did i have to reach for my wallet or credit card. it was a bit annoying that i could not buy a coke or snack since i had no money.
thanks, paul.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT:the war hero, the perfessor, ginger and mary ann and jor-el superman's father
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Saturday, April 26, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XI
THEY'RE CALLED MEALS
"meals" is the nom de plume of the three eating periods allocated in a dining area. my sympathies and congratulations to the dining staff who managed to perform their duties under severe pressures from not having menu items to just being overworked. for a wait staff that got few or no tips (i suspect the better meals went to the tippers) they had to put up with wheelchairs, walkers, cranky people and people who needed assistance in eating.
at any rate i settled in to a table of competent eaters and talkers. by the time i was discharged it was apparent that we could write each other's bio. additional benefits included visiting relatives from spouses to great grandchildren showing up.
although tis facility is well rated the actual food served was not quite up to the caliber of mcdonald's but it was sorta' ok for my peasant tastes. at breakfast some juice, hot cereal and two hard boiled eggs was good. i'm a simple guy with simple tastes not a sophisticated gourmet like you.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT: LAYMAN ECONOMICS
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"meals" is the nom de plume of the three eating periods allocated in a dining area. my sympathies and congratulations to the dining staff who managed to perform their duties under severe pressures from not having menu items to just being overworked. for a wait staff that got few or no tips (i suspect the better meals went to the tippers) they had to put up with wheelchairs, walkers, cranky people and people who needed assistance in eating.
at any rate i settled in to a table of competent eaters and talkers. by the time i was discharged it was apparent that we could write each other's bio. additional benefits included visiting relatives from spouses to great grandchildren showing up.
although tis facility is well rated the actual food served was not quite up to the caliber of mcdonald's but it was sorta' ok for my peasant tastes. at breakfast some juice, hot cereal and two hard boiled eggs was good. i'm a simple guy with simple tastes not a sophisticated gourmet like you.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT: LAYMAN ECONOMICS
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Friday, April 25, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE X
THERAPY
much to my surpise i had to learn to walk again. how could i become so weak and helpless in just one week of hospitalization? i don't know and i don't want to appear really stupid by asking.
usually a therapist would call on me and escort me to the workout area. i was in great condition compared to most at this facility as i was only using a walker not a wheel chair. yes, super-geezer - thats me. lindsay lohan, or justin bieber were not at this rehab center. i'm sure lindsay would have speeded up my recovery significantly especially since i was one of the younger looking and healthier than most here. everything is relative. i think they triaged the residents here. one third went home; one third went to assisted living; and one third went to a nursing home - poor souls.
btw - you can't tell a person's mental clarity by their appearance. i've known energetic engineers that cannot compare with many people here who appear totally wiped out but have all their faculties while the young engineer is a total moron. his getting through college is a mystery.
how the physical therapy coincided with my lowest energy level of the day i do not know? they must have scientifically determined that. i stupidly said i'll be ready to go home in two days. ten days later i was walking pretty good (like a 3 year old) without a walker and three days after that managed to get my release to the real world.
at present i have progressed to the point where the other day i was driving, got a haircut after four months looking like hagar's grandfather, went to teeter, shoppers, and giant and bought stuff. that was a good workout but i can see that it was at the limit of my ability. kinda sad. since i'm only an octogenarian and in my prime.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT: THEY'RE CALLED MEALS.
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much to my surpise i had to learn to walk again. how could i become so weak and helpless in just one week of hospitalization? i don't know and i don't want to appear really stupid by asking.
usually a therapist would call on me and escort me to the workout area. i was in great condition compared to most at this facility as i was only using a walker not a wheel chair. yes, super-geezer - thats me. lindsay lohan, or justin bieber were not at this rehab center. i'm sure lindsay would have speeded up my recovery significantly especially since i was one of the younger looking and healthier than most here. everything is relative. i think they triaged the residents here. one third went home; one third went to assisted living; and one third went to a nursing home - poor souls.
btw - you can't tell a person's mental clarity by their appearance. i've known energetic engineers that cannot compare with many people here who appear totally wiped out but have all their faculties while the young engineer is a total moron. his getting through college is a mystery.
how the physical therapy coincided with my lowest energy level of the day i do not know? they must have scientifically determined that. i stupidly said i'll be ready to go home in two days. ten days later i was walking pretty good (like a 3 year old) without a walker and three days after that managed to get my release to the real world.
at present i have progressed to the point where the other day i was driving, got a haircut after four months looking like hagar's grandfather, went to teeter, shoppers, and giant and bought stuff. that was a good workout but i can see that it was at the limit of my ability. kinda sad. since i'm only an octogenarian and in my prime.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT: THEY'RE CALLED MEALS.
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Thursday, April 24, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE IX
MY ROOM OR RATHER OUR ROOM
had to share a room. early on i decided i'm not sharing a toilet and bathroom with some old incontinent, geezer person. i'm carrying enough deadly germs with me. other people here are carrying other deadly germs ffrom other facilities. stay away from them.
my first roommate teaches at georgetown and so was entitled to the best of everything. you can't deny anyone anything who appers so ill unless you are a republican or nazi. i was scheduled for a private room. admissions told me the next day i had turned it down. the only suspect who had any interest in a private room was the georgetown teacher. of course admissions didn't believe me when i denied turning it down because many people here have hearing, comprehension, and other problems so their responses vary from one hour to the next. nevermind. he got the private room and i didn't.
another entitled, very sick, deaf, incontinent, 93 year old person was moved in. in additionto recovering from pneumonia (the old man's friend - they say) he had a broken collar bone. sorta' noisy between his pain, coughing and arguing with the staff because he didn't hear them. i apologize for occasionally laughing at the misunderstandings.
there were three toilets that i was aware of in the hallway on my floor. i would use these. the second week of my luxurious stay at the facility i discovered the cleanest toilet tucked away on the first floor. the problem with this one was that a notice told the user to lock the door. not a good idea and safety hazard at this time for me. i left the walker i was using at the time outside the door to indicate it was in use. i suspect no one but me was using it anyway. during the last few days of my stay i did lock the door at great risk maybe. who would hear or find me?????????
the dr. mengele furniture company (since 1946) must have manufactured the bed. the bed was designed with machinery that could give you an infinite number of positions. every one of them exquisitely designed to maximize discomfort in a unique way. the staff madeup the bed with extra padding and protective sheet probably to make it easier to cleanup if the patient soiled it. this of course made it even more uncomfortable. the first thing i would do was pull out the extra stuff and toss it on the floor. during the first week i was getting at most 3-4 hours a night sleep.
the truth is that you never want to be in a situation where other people rule your life but this is america. they only put down cats and dogs and shoot horses. you gotta live 'til you blissfully die no matter what the cost to you or the taxpayer.
TO BE CONTINUED. THERAPY.
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had to share a room. early on i decided i'm not sharing a toilet and bathroom with some old incontinent, geezer person. i'm carrying enough deadly germs with me. other people here are carrying other deadly germs ffrom other facilities. stay away from them.
my first roommate teaches at georgetown and so was entitled to the best of everything. you can't deny anyone anything who appers so ill unless you are a republican or nazi. i was scheduled for a private room. admissions told me the next day i had turned it down. the only suspect who had any interest in a private room was the georgetown teacher. of course admissions didn't believe me when i denied turning it down because many people here have hearing, comprehension, and other problems so their responses vary from one hour to the next. nevermind. he got the private room and i didn't.
another entitled, very sick, deaf, incontinent, 93 year old person was moved in. in additionto recovering from pneumonia (the old man's friend - they say) he had a broken collar bone. sorta' noisy between his pain, coughing and arguing with the staff because he didn't hear them. i apologize for occasionally laughing at the misunderstandings.
there were three toilets that i was aware of in the hallway on my floor. i would use these. the second week of my luxurious stay at the facility i discovered the cleanest toilet tucked away on the first floor. the problem with this one was that a notice told the user to lock the door. not a good idea and safety hazard at this time for me. i left the walker i was using at the time outside the door to indicate it was in use. i suspect no one but me was using it anyway. during the last few days of my stay i did lock the door at great risk maybe. who would hear or find me?????????
the dr. mengele furniture company (since 1946) must have manufactured the bed. the bed was designed with machinery that could give you an infinite number of positions. every one of them exquisitely designed to maximize discomfort in a unique way. the staff madeup the bed with extra padding and protective sheet probably to make it easier to cleanup if the patient soiled it. this of course made it even more uncomfortable. the first thing i would do was pull out the extra stuff and toss it on the floor. during the first week i was getting at most 3-4 hours a night sleep.
the truth is that you never want to be in a situation where other people rule your life but this is america. they only put down cats and dogs and shoot horses. you gotta live 'til you blissfully die no matter what the cost to you or the taxpayer.
TO BE CONTINUED. THERAPY.
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Wednesday, April 23, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE VIII
THE FANTASTIC AMBULANCE RIDE TO THE OLD AGE HOME - OOPS - I MEAN REHAB CENTER..
waiting, waiting , waiting - get used to it. no matter what your condition you must wait until other people you are dependent on show up and do their thing. do not pretend that you are in charge. just wait even if you are in a fetal position waiting for the relief of death. sorry.
at about 8 pm the ambulance people arrived. "yes, soon, soon". there were two people who were straight out of hollywood casting for a zany, funny movie about ambulance escapades. one was a very energetic and robust young woman who also drove the vehicle. the other was a very large, young, and strong guy who you want to be agreeable with at all times for fear he will lose it.
strapped onto a litter on a hospital cart i was whisked away - yea - finally installed into the small cubicle of the ambulance. the rehab facility was about 40 miles away. we hit every pothole on the road. the driver was a solid republican bigot. her choice. she would say such things as, "the black man in the white house", "the bumpy ride was not due to the old shock absorbers on the ambulance it was due to the potholes in the road". i mentioned that if some money was allocated for infrastructure the potholes would be fixed. at which point i was lucky i was a patient so she wouldn't hit me. another republican in denial.
finally arriving at the rehab facility i was quickly admitted and wheeled on a cart to my room.
the facility is run by a jewish organization. the two ambulance staff seemed to be surprised that it appeared so well maintained. "golly gee, these jews are well off. it is so well maintained and it doesn't smell at all. i don't see anyone with horns. how can that be?.
unloading my body at about 10 pm in a room i was asked if i needed any thing?
"a beer".
she, "that sounds good".
the guy, "let's go to a bar {maybe i can get some}".
she unenthusiastically, "sorry i have to get up at 5 am {you'll never get any}".
me, "thank you {get the hell outof here}".
attention hollywood casting people, "you are missing out on a great movie by letting these people go".
TO BE CONTINUED. MY ROOM.
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waiting, waiting , waiting - get used to it. no matter what your condition you must wait until other people you are dependent on show up and do their thing. do not pretend that you are in charge. just wait even if you are in a fetal position waiting for the relief of death. sorry.
at about 8 pm the ambulance people arrived. "yes, soon, soon". there were two people who were straight out of hollywood casting for a zany, funny movie about ambulance escapades. one was a very energetic and robust young woman who also drove the vehicle. the other was a very large, young, and strong guy who you want to be agreeable with at all times for fear he will lose it.
strapped onto a litter on a hospital cart i was whisked away - yea - finally installed into the small cubicle of the ambulance. the rehab facility was about 40 miles away. we hit every pothole on the road. the driver was a solid republican bigot. her choice. she would say such things as, "the black man in the white house", "the bumpy ride was not due to the old shock absorbers on the ambulance it was due to the potholes in the road". i mentioned that if some money was allocated for infrastructure the potholes would be fixed. at which point i was lucky i was a patient so she wouldn't hit me. another republican in denial.
finally arriving at the rehab facility i was quickly admitted and wheeled on a cart to my room.
the facility is run by a jewish organization. the two ambulance staff seemed to be surprised that it appeared so well maintained. "golly gee, these jews are well off. it is so well maintained and it doesn't smell at all. i don't see anyone with horns. how can that be?.
unloading my body at about 10 pm in a room i was asked if i needed any thing?
"a beer".
she, "that sounds good".
the guy, "let's go to a bar {maybe i can get some}".
she unenthusiastically, "sorry i have to get up at 5 am {you'll never get any}".
me, "thank you {get the hell outof here}".
attention hollywood casting people, "you are missing out on a great movie by letting these people go".
TO BE CONTINUED. MY ROOM.
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Tuesday, April 22, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE VII
DISCHARGE DAY
i was moved out of icu believing that i didn't belong there in the first place (ho, ho). starting to feel pretty good (relative to my admission day). almost wanting to live again (sorta') and thinking it will be only a few days before i'll be able to join the marines if i wanted to. i know you're thinking men always over estimate their competence and ability by at least 200% unless they are engineers when the over estmate is 300%.other reality based people seemed to think a one year old was stronger than i was. what do they know? who you gonna believe me or a million witnesses?
amazingly i was able to eat, drink, and breathe normally after huge doses of antibiotics, and assorted poisons. my discharge papers sorta' said they didn't know what i had but they cured me of it.
in the afternoon i was informed that i had to go to a rehab facility for awhile before i could reclaim my freedom. sure, sure, i thought. i'll break out in a few days. after all i am so strong nothing could restrain my bursting health since its restoration.
three rehab facilities reasonably close to my home were selected for contact for admission. the first was full up. the second associated with assisted care and a nursing home was available. i went for it.
they said an ambulance would transport me to the facility.
TO BE CONTINUED: THE FANTASTIC AMBULANCE RIDE TO THE OLD AGE HOME.
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i was moved out of icu believing that i didn't belong there in the first place (ho, ho). starting to feel pretty good (relative to my admission day). almost wanting to live again (sorta') and thinking it will be only a few days before i'll be able to join the marines if i wanted to. i know you're thinking men always over estimate their competence and ability by at least 200% unless they are engineers when the over estmate is 300%.other reality based people seemed to think a one year old was stronger than i was. what do they know? who you gonna believe me or a million witnesses?
amazingly i was able to eat, drink, and breathe normally after huge doses of antibiotics, and assorted poisons. my discharge papers sorta' said they didn't know what i had but they cured me of it.
in the afternoon i was informed that i had to go to a rehab facility for awhile before i could reclaim my freedom. sure, sure, i thought. i'll break out in a few days. after all i am so strong nothing could restrain my bursting health since its restoration.
three rehab facilities reasonably close to my home were selected for contact for admission. the first was full up. the second associated with assisted care and a nursing home was available. i went for it.
they said an ambulance would transport me to the facility.
TO BE CONTINUED: THE FANTASTIC AMBULANCE RIDE TO THE OLD AGE HOME.
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Monday, April 21, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE VI
DEATH IN THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT
they told me that they're transferring me to the icu only because a bed was available there. do they tell that to everyone? i believed it. asking one of the doctor's to just shoot me he responded that it wasn't on his treatment list and he walked off.
maintenance cleaned the area in the next bay. the space was now available for the next person.
the next person in the adjoining bay who been admitted was in an accident. relatives were present and one of them was inconsolable. later i heard one of the staff talk about the blood that was present. i checked myself of course to make sure they weren't talking about me. nope - no blood - i think. over the next two days there was a constant stream of visitors to the next bay ending in more visitors, a private service and more tears.
maintenance cleaned the area. the space was now available for the next person.
the hospital is full up and only the lucky or dying can get a bed. in my case i believe that the kidney transplant of almost three months earlier gave me a leg up. they had a major interest in the procedure being successful as the total retail value of the kidney, medical staff, and services must be at least $200,000. too big to fail. like the banks and gm there was too much to lose and it would screw up their statistics. they are proud of their outstanding record. he cannot die!!!!!!!!
i must live for other octogenarians. don't worry folks us old geezers get second tier kidneys. they are called expanded criteria donor kidneys which means the organs are from cadavers and are not top notch. the medical people remove the organ from the deceased donor, put it in an iced container (i think), ship it to the transplant site, clean it up, check blood type and other blood factors, other stuff, roll the selected recipient into the operating room, and (simplifying) do the deed.
so far the one i got is working - i think.
TO BE CONTINUED. DISCHARGE DAY, YEA.
************************************************************************************************
they told me that they're transferring me to the icu only because a bed was available there. do they tell that to everyone? i believed it. asking one of the doctor's to just shoot me he responded that it wasn't on his treatment list and he walked off.
maintenance cleaned the area in the next bay. the space was now available for the next person.
the next person in the adjoining bay who been admitted was in an accident. relatives were present and one of them was inconsolable. later i heard one of the staff talk about the blood that was present. i checked myself of course to make sure they weren't talking about me. nope - no blood - i think. over the next two days there was a constant stream of visitors to the next bay ending in more visitors, a private service and more tears.
maintenance cleaned the area. the space was now available for the next person.
the hospital is full up and only the lucky or dying can get a bed. in my case i believe that the kidney transplant of almost three months earlier gave me a leg up. they had a major interest in the procedure being successful as the total retail value of the kidney, medical staff, and services must be at least $200,000. too big to fail. like the banks and gm there was too much to lose and it would screw up their statistics. they are proud of their outstanding record. he cannot die!!!!!!!!
i must live for other octogenarians. don't worry folks us old geezers get second tier kidneys. they are called expanded criteria donor kidneys which means the organs are from cadavers and are not top notch. the medical people remove the organ from the deceased donor, put it in an iced container (i think), ship it to the transplant site, clean it up, check blood type and other blood factors, other stuff, roll the selected recipient into the operating room, and (simplifying) do the deed.
so far the one i got is working - i think.
TO BE CONTINUED. DISCHARGE DAY, YEA.
************************************************************************************************
Sunday, April 20, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE V
ESCAPE
in the middle of the night i planned my escape from the hospital. teleportation -- of course. it would be easy to just teleport myself to my hometown and make my way to my house and so it was done. yes, i did it with my bed and all the accoutrements.
my only problem was to release all the bonds holding me to the bed from my iv tube to the plastic shackles that bound my feet. hunt and peck monkey style i released all my bonds. now i could make my way home. when i pulled the foot shackles free the bed sounded an alarm. a nurse came in. apparently something went wrong with the teleportation and my overall plan. must rethink. what could have gone wrong with the teleportation?
now that i was caught i became obsessed thinking only of the huge trouble i was in now. escaping from a hospital is close to a capitol offense. i said to the nurse, "how much did she want not to say anything about this". she responded that she was obligated to report this incident. fearing the worst possible consequeces i tried talking to the next two staff members that visited me. much to my surprise no one knew what i was talking about and knew nothing about my major crime. looking around i saw that through all my anguish and turmoil my bed and i had not moved an inch. slowly i realized that it was a dream and no one cared. probably happens all the time.
i guess there are a lot of crazy people at the hospital. at the time i had no idea that it was mostly a dream but it was such a good plan.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT ADVENTURE: DEATH IN THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT
**********************************************************************************************
in the middle of the night i planned my escape from the hospital. teleportation -- of course. it would be easy to just teleport myself to my hometown and make my way to my house and so it was done. yes, i did it with my bed and all the accoutrements.
my only problem was to release all the bonds holding me to the bed from my iv tube to the plastic shackles that bound my feet. hunt and peck monkey style i released all my bonds. now i could make my way home. when i pulled the foot shackles free the bed sounded an alarm. a nurse came in. apparently something went wrong with the teleportation and my overall plan. must rethink. what could have gone wrong with the teleportation?
now that i was caught i became obsessed thinking only of the huge trouble i was in now. escaping from a hospital is close to a capitol offense. i said to the nurse, "how much did she want not to say anything about this". she responded that she was obligated to report this incident. fearing the worst possible consequeces i tried talking to the next two staff members that visited me. much to my surprise no one knew what i was talking about and knew nothing about my major crime. looking around i saw that through all my anguish and turmoil my bed and i had not moved an inch. slowly i realized that it was a dream and no one cared. probably happens all the time.
i guess there are a lot of crazy people at the hospital. at the time i had no idea that it was mostly a dream but it was such a good plan.
TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT ADVENTURE: DEATH IN THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT
**********************************************************************************************
Saturday, April 19, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE IV
GETTING BETTER?????????????
after about (i know not exactly when) four days i started to improve and actually communicated with the world around me. up to that time i lay there in a pile not even willing or able to move my lips to say something. if i had something to say it would have been, "get the hell out of here and let me die you bastards" or something similar. actually i hadn't the energy or inclination to even think or say that.
i was continually visited by staff: doctors, nurses, assistants, social workers, bookkeepers, maintenance workers, and lost visitors. it seemed that everyone wanted to know my name and where i thought i was? at one point i said, "i'm abraham lincoln and this is ford's theater". i'm sure some of the people actually didn't know who i was or where they were.
the most annoying aspect of my stay was all the wiring and tubes on me, under me, over me. at least one intravenous (IV) medication thingum attached, a device attached to my ear, a litlle lighted device attachd to a finger appwearing to be an extraterrestrial communication device, plastic cables attached to me and my bed making escape at least difficult and serving a faux purpose of massaging my legs. these devices seemed to have the sole purpose that kathy bates had imprisoning james caan in the movie misery.
TO BE CONTINUED. DON'T MISS EPISODE V, "ESCAPE"
**********************************************************************************************
after about (i know not exactly when) four days i started to improve and actually communicated with the world around me. up to that time i lay there in a pile not even willing or able to move my lips to say something. if i had something to say it would have been, "get the hell out of here and let me die you bastards" or something similar. actually i hadn't the energy or inclination to even think or say that.
i was continually visited by staff: doctors, nurses, assistants, social workers, bookkeepers, maintenance workers, and lost visitors. it seemed that everyone wanted to know my name and where i thought i was? at one point i said, "i'm abraham lincoln and this is ford's theater". i'm sure some of the people actually didn't know who i was or where they were.
the most annoying aspect of my stay was all the wiring and tubes on me, under me, over me. at least one intravenous (IV) medication thingum attached, a device attached to my ear, a litlle lighted device attachd to a finger appwearing to be an extraterrestrial communication device, plastic cables attached to me and my bed making escape at least difficult and serving a faux purpose of massaging my legs. these devices seemed to have the sole purpose that kathy bates had imprisoning james caan in the movie misery.
TO BE CONTINUED. DON'T MISS EPISODE V, "ESCAPE"
**********************************************************************************************
Friday, April 18, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE III
after about three days with my throat closed w/o food or drink except for the slow drip of poisonous substances going into my arm they managed to decrease the swelling so that i could eat and drink again. a very important essential characteristic for the maintenance of human life. its in a book.
every five minutes some nurse comes in and wants you to drop your pants. i have no idea as to why? to see my transplant scar; to squeeze my transplant; my personal attractiveness; to check my you-know-what; size matters; i'm adorable; to check the tube running into a urinal (since i couldn't move); whatever?
finally after about a week the horde of doctors, nurses, and king's men declared me cured even though it was not known what was wrong with me in the first place. unfortunately the cure although not killing me left me as weak as a one year old.
completely unaware as to how weak i had become i thought (heh, heh) i would bouce back in a day or two. of course this was a typical male overestimate of ability. a total mismatch of reality to actuality. having worked with engineers i know that many of them can't put a plug into an electrical outlet but are great authorities on the physical universe. yes, i'm guilty too except i can put a plug into an outlet most of the time.
TO BE CONTINUED.
***************************************************************************************************
every five minutes some nurse comes in and wants you to drop your pants. i have no idea as to why? to see my transplant scar; to squeeze my transplant; my personal attractiveness; to check my you-know-what; size matters; i'm adorable; to check the tube running into a urinal (since i couldn't move); whatever?
finally after about a week the horde of doctors, nurses, and king's men declared me cured even though it was not known what was wrong with me in the first place. unfortunately the cure although not killing me left me as weak as a one year old.
completely unaware as to how weak i had become i thought (heh, heh) i would bouce back in a day or two. of course this was a typical male overestimate of ability. a total mismatch of reality to actuality. having worked with engineers i know that many of them can't put a plug into an electrical outlet but are great authorities on the physical universe. yes, i'm guilty too except i can put a plug into an outlet most of the time.
TO BE CONTINUED.
***************************************************************************************************
Thursday, April 17, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE II
crumpled up in a ball of pain and illness i entered the hospital as best i could. the first words you hear tell you they'll be right with you and you should have a seat. sitting there for an eternity of suffering someone calls your name. the processing interrogation gives you hope that help will be on the way. soon you wil hear the bugle of the cavalry riding in to save you.
eventually you wind up in a bed in a gown with your butt end visible to all. not too bad considering that i was present when a theatre group in the dc area mooned the audience. i never want to see another show by that stupid group again. i guess that was art. my butt is not art.
somehow i know not how i got through that day but the next day i was on oxycodone, rush limbaugh's favorite med, all day.
the highlight of my stay was when my throat closed up. i could still breathe - fortunate or unfortunate depending on your point of view. no food or fluid could be swallowed. somehow the procedure for entering my stomach was easy for the medical staff but not so easy for the patient. anyway all they had to do (a piece of cake) was run a tube up my nose, have it bend down into my throat and eventually into my stomach. nothing to it. unfortunately the remaining space in my throat was not large enough to accomodate the tube. i can assure you that jesus, mohammed, buddha, and moses together were totally useless. you can imagine whatever you want but the spirits are of no use to me. yup, my fault.
three fun attempts at placing the life saving death tube failed which only made the nurses angry at me. eventually an eent doctor ran a tube with light and viewer into my throat and proclaimed the remaining space was not large enough to run the tube. yea, the staff was exonerated. they did their job. not their fault. the good news was that the part of my throat which was swollen was the best part of any that could swell. yea - i may live - or boo - depending.
TO BE CONTINUED. I KNOW YOU ARE EXCITED OVER THIS.
******************************************************************************************
eventually you wind up in a bed in a gown with your butt end visible to all. not too bad considering that i was present when a theatre group in the dc area mooned the audience. i never want to see another show by that stupid group again. i guess that was art. my butt is not art.
somehow i know not how i got through that day but the next day i was on oxycodone, rush limbaugh's favorite med, all day.
the highlight of my stay was when my throat closed up. i could still breathe - fortunate or unfortunate depending on your point of view. no food or fluid could be swallowed. somehow the procedure for entering my stomach was easy for the medical staff but not so easy for the patient. anyway all they had to do (a piece of cake) was run a tube up my nose, have it bend down into my throat and eventually into my stomach. nothing to it. unfortunately the remaining space in my throat was not large enough to accomodate the tube. i can assure you that jesus, mohammed, buddha, and moses together were totally useless. you can imagine whatever you want but the spirits are of no use to me. yup, my fault.
three fun attempts at placing the life saving death tube failed which only made the nurses angry at me. eventually an eent doctor ran a tube with light and viewer into my throat and proclaimed the remaining space was not large enough to run the tube. yea, the staff was exonerated. they did their job. not their fault. the good news was that the part of my throat which was swollen was the best part of any that could swell. yea - i may live - or boo - depending.
TO BE CONTINUED. I KNOW YOU ARE EXCITED OVER THIS.
******************************************************************************************
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE I
doing literally undercover investigative reporting work concerning tghe healthcare system over the past month.
these are just a few of the things i have observed:
1. there are absolutely no life altering events: if you are a bastard going into an experience, you will come out a bastard at the end of the experience. perhaps for some wishful thinking if you think that in dickens' christmas carol, scrooge has changed after his dream experiences you are very (har, har, har) sadly mistaken. from what i saw people become even more self centered and selfish than they were before.
2. a person next door to me at the hospital died. some relatives and friends took it badly. others did not. they had a brief service at the person's bedside. the room was cleaned and the next ill person was moved in. the world goes on.
3. at a rehab facility: a person and his relatives who make the most noise and demand the best service can get the best attention and perks. there's nothing better than having a feeling of entitlement. a patients' visitors seemed to think nothing of helping themselves to some of my (trivial) stuff like bottled water when i wasn't around. trivial but very annoying. the patient obviously pained one night told the staff they'll be fired in the morning. most of the staff present seemed to think that was a good idea. the next day the event appeared to be totally forgotten.
4. i salute most of the brave healthcare workers who put up with all the crap that many sick and helpless people can deliver. if the patients weren't so pathetic there would be a bounty on their heads.
5. bizzarely most of these sick old people sponging on the tax payer don't want any one else to have healthcare. no wonder they are republicans and believe all the made up gossip on fox news. they want the truth on benghazi!!!
5. while in the hospital and feeling really terrible i asked the doctor to just have a gun loaded and put one shot in the right spot on my head. he replied that that treatment was not on his list of possible treatmens so he could not comply with my request. its interesting that we shoot horses and put cats and dogs away but people must suffer outrageous demeaning and painful procedures, "we saved your remaining meaningless and useless life at incredible cost.
TO BE CONTINUED IN A MORE LIGHT HEARTED VEIN.
*********************************************************************************************
these are just a few of the things i have observed:
1. there are absolutely no life altering events: if you are a bastard going into an experience, you will come out a bastard at the end of the experience. perhaps for some wishful thinking if you think that in dickens' christmas carol, scrooge has changed after his dream experiences you are very (har, har, har) sadly mistaken. from what i saw people become even more self centered and selfish than they were before.
2. a person next door to me at the hospital died. some relatives and friends took it badly. others did not. they had a brief service at the person's bedside. the room was cleaned and the next ill person was moved in. the world goes on.
3. at a rehab facility: a person and his relatives who make the most noise and demand the best service can get the best attention and perks. there's nothing better than having a feeling of entitlement. a patients' visitors seemed to think nothing of helping themselves to some of my (trivial) stuff like bottled water when i wasn't around. trivial but very annoying. the patient obviously pained one night told the staff they'll be fired in the morning. most of the staff present seemed to think that was a good idea. the next day the event appeared to be totally forgotten.
4. i salute most of the brave healthcare workers who put up with all the crap that many sick and helpless people can deliver. if the patients weren't so pathetic there would be a bounty on their heads.
5. bizzarely most of these sick old people sponging on the tax payer don't want any one else to have healthcare. no wonder they are republicans and believe all the made up gossip on fox news. they want the truth on benghazi!!!
5. while in the hospital and feeling really terrible i asked the doctor to just have a gun loaded and put one shot in the right spot on my head. he replied that that treatment was not on his list of possible treatmens so he could not comply with my request. its interesting that we shoot horses and put cats and dogs away but people must suffer outrageous demeaning and painful procedures, "we saved your remaining meaningless and useless life at incredible cost.
TO BE CONTINUED IN A MORE LIGHT HEARTED VEIN.
*********************************************************************************************
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