TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXI

"just relax", the voice said.
"okie dukie".

the next thing i knew i was trying to pull off an oxygen (sorta) snorkel mask which was just one of the annoyances. another voice from above said, "don't touch the mask". it was a nurse.

i was in a large recovery room. initially i was only aware of pain and discomfort. i kept thinking it'll get better as time passes and after about five years it did although the clock seemerd to indicate only a few hours had passed from start to now.

curtains separated many beds in a circle. i think. someone was crying out. "poor devil", i thought. my condition was clearly much better than his. my wife and son were present shortly. they had been by my side previously they said.

all i can recall of my recovery was that i was peeing real good. i found out that peeing is one of the most important things you can ever do during your life time. my various doctors have said:
1. regardless of medical tests, if you're walking around, you're walking around.
2. getting out of bed is a significant medical indication of your improving health.
3. when a woman starts putting on lipstick she is getting better.

insomnia was the most annoying of my various complaints. separated by a curtain, my roommate also couldn't sleep although i heard occasional snoring from his side. he claimed to have watched half a dozen basketball games and reruns overnight. i sorta' liked the patty duke show, and that girl. anyway we both survived the night. during the day he was busy doing his work as budget director on his laptop. i'm still a bit worried about him. he was sicker than i. in passing i note that he was a hard working black man while my roommate at rehab was an entitled white a'hole.

the transplant was on tuesday. by thursday i was having coffee in the hospital cafeteria tethered to a plastic urinal container. i don't recall any women screaming or men fainting as i trudged the hospital hallways or being on their elevators. i'm still trying to figure out who put into my record tyat the kidney functioned late. the staff, nurses, doctors try to cover their butt in case something goes wrong, "its not my fault, its the patient".

TO BE CONTINUED. I THINK.

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