TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXVIII

reached another b'day. its so great. the older i get the more excuses i accumulate not to attend social functions with my cntemporary anthropoids.

my excuse list includes:

may catch cold/flu/virus/ebola/cough
from people/pets/food/drink/draft/plants/soil.
i may forget/wander off/fall down/overdose/lose address/lose my glasses/hearing aid
or have relapse/pain/nausea/headache/foot ache/sickness
because i couldn't sleep/drive/walk/see
whatever.

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john kenny and, "truth in advertising".

i humbly have borrowed the, "truth in .." thing from john kenny's book, "truth in advertising". this has to be the most interesting and well crafted novel of all time. i have listened to the audio book over a period of time three times and i am entertained each and every time.

"mill on the floss", or "bleak house" may be ok but are not at the entertainment level of kenny's writing. sorry george eliot and charles dickens.

only shakespeare can compete with kenny except i can't follow elizabethan english.

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXVII

more epilogue

recommended diet for post transplant and elderly

as you know caloric intake is broken down by food and drink components: carbohydrates, protein, fat, and alcohol. the recommended diet is low protein, low fat, low carbohydrate and little or no alcoholic products. so that leaves what? water! large amounts of water is good - they say. of course you might starve to death but you will at least have avoided a more painful death. i'm glad i have cheered you up today.

think i'll have a pizza and beer for lunch. that's healthy. isn't it?

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as i recover at home the circumstances and attitudes change:


" did you take out the garbage?"
"not yet"
"well walk the dog?"
"we don't have a dog."
"well take a walk anyway."
"groan - bye."
"THE GARBAGE!!!"
"okie dokie."

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXVI

epilogue v


erectile dysfunction cures and commercials - clearly they are not working in this ad.

y'know the men in e d med commercials are not the best sales reps for the pharma industry. after taking those little blue pills the pretty boy lovers smile a lot, their women smile back, the men move over to their presumed lover, put an arm around her, give her a peck on the cheek, and a modest hug, besides the smile she does not flush or have any increased breathing or pulse rate. these reactions are not exactly what i expected from these powerful drugs. not exactly showing the strong magnetic natural forces unleashed. if thats the best they can do don't waste your money on the meds or perhaps the men are just not interested in women or will not be helped by drugs. the visuals bring to mind christmas time at grandma's or a pillsbury biscuit commercial. "there's nothing better than pillsbury's biscuits to bring families together."

he's probably waiting for his golfing appointment and she's going to meet her date at the officer's club who doesn't need any pills.

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on another note

kevin smith movies on nertflix

self-promoting ken smith thinks he's steven spielberg when he's a lot more like edward wood except smith is not as talented. being a new jersey boy, smith's heroes and heroines underneath their nonconformist veneer usually wind up wanting a house, lawn to mow, and the usual boring stuff of a new jersey life. two movies watched include, " chasing amy", and "zack and miri make a porno". both wind up with the usual dream of a stable and boring future life.

so that is your new jersey choice either a life of emotional turmoil or total boredom taking care of your lawn and associating with other zombies who love bruce springsteen. yea, its NEW JERSEY!!!!!!!!!!!

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXV

epilogue iii

mental health

i forgot to mention rudy giuliani among crazy cross dressing republicans. bizarrely the rat pack that calls itself the republican party thinks it is cool to be perverse provided you are one of them. being perverse and not of really white lineage makes you a thug. what is it with these guys pretending to be sophisticated but are just plain crazy. they're the ones promoting perverse behavior. why am i the only one who sees that?

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my brain and the speed of light

as you know (no you don't!) the speed of light is constant regardless of whether you are moving toward the light source or moving away from the light source. for most other phenomena such as a moving train you will notice that relative to the ground your speed is slower when walking to the rear of the moving train and faster as you walk to the front of the train. one side of my brain accepts this.

the other side of my brain says while lol that this is stupid and can't happen. next thing you know they'll be saying we evolved from monkeys. thats funny.

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXIV

epilogue ii

mental health:

carl rove being a prime example of brain damage has brought up the subject of mental health. he is a patholological liar and exhibits bizarre behavior. in some deviant abnormal way republicans think it is sophisticated to be unashamedly mentally ill and stupid. i guess this speaks to their culture.

the world has been subjected to a variety of psychopathic leaders and advisors from nero, and rasputin to nancy reagan's astrology sessions.

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rich people never get sick.

somehow rich people (two types: billionaires and/or delusional personalities) seem to think their food and air and water supply and judgements are superior to their presumed poorer next door neighbors'. otherwise they might be upset with an oil pipeline across the landscape and a nuclear plant down the road or a toxic waste dump on the mountain. and they are probably convinced that they are not vulnerable to the " .. thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to." it may devoutly be wished but only republicans believe it.

"we're rich. nothing bad can happen to us because we are so smart, and strong, out of my way!"

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all is vanity

although having lost about 10 pounds from pre-transplant four months ago i find that my pant's waist size has increased by about three inches mainly because i don't want anything touching my abdomenal waistal midsectional area. i just can't stand anything rubbing on my still raw skin surface. i have given up being vain. no sense to it any longer. i only shave once a week, have given up trying to look good, slouching around with my cliven bundy rancher hat as ordered by my doctor because sunlight causes cancer and with my old man's suspender held pants.

many local people who know me by sight take a second more scrutinizing look now probably thinking, "what the hell happenned to him?".

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXIII

epilogue i

just a few post scripts and followups:
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checking with my dentist for a prescription for pre appt. anti-biotics he said i should check with my local doctor. i thought my dentist was a local doctor. dentists love to be called doctor but bail out when the rubber meets the road. they're just dentists.

i'm going to call my garage mechanic and shoemaker doctor. just give them a piece of paper to put on the wall.

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must comment on the rancher cliven bundy from bunkerville nv. how can anyone possibly make these names up? impossible.... even a hollywood writer or casting studio would find it difficult to think of more descriptive names. you know exactly who he is and where he's from. i'm thinking movie script, background music, jack palance, and james coburn, russell crowe, gene hackman, in their prime. good guys include gary cooper as the sheriff and spencer tracy as the head of the local blm.

"bad day in bunkerville" starts with spencer tracey getting off a train and trying to get acquainted with the locals --- ooops i think that's another movie.

yes i know this has nothing to do with healthcare.

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according to the experts i'll be perfectly well in about six weeks when i will have survived six months. the medical community has sliced up the recovery period into easily handled parts. one size fits all. a 20 year old has the same schedule as i do even if its obvious that we are so different physically. well, they know what they're doing.

can hardly wait for my full health day. maybe i'll go on safari or sign up for a triathlon. we'll see. right now i still don't feel that great even though i'm only 80 something and in my prime.

in early july i'm scheduled to stop taking three of the remaining eight meds i'm on. will feel really good. i think.

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y'know that magic moment at the hospital when you are about to be wheeled away for your surgery and someone comes into your room and says, "your surgeon doctor frankenburger is the best. he performed procedures on almost all members of my family and they now feel great. you are so lucky to have dr. stanislaw frankenburger working on you." well sorry folks they say that about all their doctors before surgery. it has been found that the success rate is much higher when the patient has confidence in his doctor. you never hear anyone say they had the worst surgeon. everyone i've heard about always has the best surgeon.

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXII

discharged on friday. three days after the transplant. was feelin' really good. was anything in the drinking water?

spent the next 10 weeks recuperating. i was requested to have a biopsy but became i became very ill and was readmitted to the hospital. the expert biopsy doctor seemed to love his work. he was always smiling and talkd up his procedure and said there would be no problem. he told that to all the guys and girls. i'm sure he had no problem with it. i was saved from the biopsy because i was too sick. the doctor showed up occasionally just to make sure he couldn't stick me yet. i bet his patients had a different point of view. the outpatient nephrologist set a creatinine limit i had to beat or the biopsy would be required for sure. creatinine was good and i was saved temporarily.

THE END

LOOP BACK TO HEALTHCARE II TO CONTINUE.

TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XXI

"just relax", the voice said.
"okie dukie".

the next thing i knew i was trying to pull off an oxygen (sorta) snorkel mask which was just one of the annoyances. another voice from above said, "don't touch the mask". it was a nurse.

i was in a large recovery room. initially i was only aware of pain and discomfort. i kept thinking it'll get better as time passes and after about five years it did although the clock seemerd to indicate only a few hours had passed from start to now.

curtains separated many beds in a circle. i think. someone was crying out. "poor devil", i thought. my condition was clearly much better than his. my wife and son were present shortly. they had been by my side previously they said.

all i can recall of my recovery was that i was peeing real good. i found out that peeing is one of the most important things you can ever do during your life time. my various doctors have said:
1. regardless of medical tests, if you're walking around, you're walking around.
2. getting out of bed is a significant medical indication of your improving health.
3. when a woman starts putting on lipstick she is getting better.

insomnia was the most annoying of my various complaints. separated by a curtain, my roommate also couldn't sleep although i heard occasional snoring from his side. he claimed to have watched half a dozen basketball games and reruns overnight. i sorta' liked the patty duke show, and that girl. anyway we both survived the night. during the day he was busy doing his work as budget director on his laptop. i'm still a bit worried about him. he was sicker than i. in passing i note that he was a hard working black man while my roommate at rehab was an entitled white a'hole.

the transplant was on tuesday. by thursday i was having coffee in the hospital cafeteria tethered to a plastic urinal container. i don't recall any women screaming or men fainting as i trudged the hospital hallways or being on their elevators. i'm still trying to figure out who put into my record tyat the kidney functioned late. the staff, nurses, doctors try to cover their butt in case something goes wrong, "its not my fault, its the patient".

TO BE CONTINUED. I THINK.

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XX

just rehashing the past four months - from transplant to costco.

i'm more convinced than ever that whatever occurs in anyone's life is just a function of almost random dumb luck. of course you may have to push a little on the dumb luck part. if you remain totally on the sidelines the world will totally pass you by.

in a few days my kidney transplant will have been installed four months. in late evening on the day before the procedure i was called into the hospital. i did not think this was really going to happen having been offered kidneys about a dozen times before and been turned away or not called back at all. things were looking bad in other respects too. in a few days i would need a reevaluation for the procedure; my blood tests indicated my condition was deteriorating; and my nephrologist told me to hold off any dialysis the only option remaining with davita a profit making, business oriented, payoff making, new york stock exchange company. a death sentence for sure. a 20% first year mortality rate across all age groups. probably >50% at my age.

my stars, murphy, and lady luck aligned. strangely the kidney was given up by another hospital for an unknown reason. it was sent in, examined, and given to me.

i had waited only 18 months. i know its much less time than other patients. the main reason i think is that my blood type is ab. an ab blood type can accept any blood type but all other blood types cannot accept an ab blood type. only about 4% of americans have an ab type. when i was in the army only two others of about 200 in my company had an ab blood type.

the only thing that kept my feelings of anxiety from overwhelming me and possibly run screaming from the room as my body was being prepared for anesthetic and surgery was the certainty that there was no other logical option. i may have even mentioned previously to the surgeon that if there was any problem in surgery it was ok with me for him to finish me off. i'm not real good with pain and suffering.

TO BE CONTINUED. WILL THE SURGERY BE SUCCESSFUL? FIND OUT NEXT TIME.

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XIX

ON GRADUATING FROM REHAB

of course there was an element of envy and anger by the people at my dining table when i left. the individual being stuck in a mode of dependence upon a not always responsive beaurocracy could feel a lot of hostility and anger. most of the other persons at my mealtime table were going to escape within a few days but they were still in wheelchairs while i was able to walk off sorta' like a toddler.

walked out of the rehab building without incident. i had my documents in hand in case the rehab, nursing home cartel police tried to stop me. i expected, "hey you. do you have your papers?". you know many of their organizations are on the stock exchanges meaning they are profit making and prefer strongly not to lose a customer.

my wife drove me home without incident. murphy and lady luck must have been elsewhere.

now having been released about two weeks ago i have in the last few days been to the mall, costco, got a haircut after about 6 months (two months usual wait plus 4 months with transplant, illness, and rehab). bought stuff at teeter, giant, and shoppers, went to library, home depot, and did some flower planting and driving to the detriment of other drivers ( nah, kidding). actually my physical condition is fair. i still feel (after the transplant) like someone cut me open, pulled out all my innards, put it all back, and sewed me up. i wonder why i feel this way? oh, because that's what happenned.). it would be easy to just go to bed and not get out but it is clear that continual activity improves me even at XX years of age.

many of the worst events that occurred are fading as is childbirth as i've been told by my wufe. in a playoff of the pain and suffering olymics my wife always wins.

WILL THIS CONTINUE? I HAVE NO IDEA.
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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XVIII

more odds and ends

the doctor approved my pardon and dismissal. in about another hour i received my documents and discharge papers. i expected a suit and some spending money like james cagney used to get when he was released from prison. was murphy going to screw this up? y'know he and lady luck only take good care of winners. the weak are more prone to their whims.

the thought of leaving most these people who will actually live out their lives in confinement relying on the kindness of strangers was sobering. eventually not too distant it will be my fate. maybe i'll be lucky and have one massive heart attack. perhaps it will be on a friday so i don't ruin the workweek or schoolweek for anyone. when you're dead you're dead.

i'm always stunned when rich people like billionaires actually die. how good is a health system when the richest of the rich are subject to human mortality.

the medical people have me on the same schedule as a young person. one size fits all. i'm still going along with little energy and stamina and the extenal scars are taking their time returning to normal. i know i'm only in my 80s and in my prime. so i shouldn't complain. i did drive (by myself -yea) to the mall last week and bought a few (actually a lot) of things at costco and other places. anyway if i have enough energy to go out about twice a week i should be happy.

my big adventure will be visiting my dentist. my instructions are not to have any dental work done 'til july. i've made two appts. on consecutive days because clearly i have a lot of catching up to do. in july i will not have seen my dentist in almost a year. he's the best and charges accordingly. thanks, to my children's money. on many days while in the hospital and rehab, rolled up in a ball of discomfort and pain i confess that i did not always attend to the principles of dental hygiene.

TO BE CONTINUED. ADDITIONAL ODDS AND ENDS OR DISCHARGE?? IT'LL BE A SURPRISE TO ME. I CAN'T WAIT.

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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XVII

odds and ends

my deep religious belief in murphy and non-virginal lady luck may have pulled me through so far. so beautiful when she smiles on you.

from the frank sinatra version of luck be a lady tonight from guys and dolls:

"Luck Be A Lady"
They call you lady luck
But there is room for doubt
At times you have a very un-lady-like way
Of running out


then there is murphy a god that promotes randomness, much like your god.

finally on tuesday, two weeks ago, i finished my last therapy session at the workout center. in my room by mid-morning i realized that i may as well go home as stay another sleepless night in my dr. mengele bed watching gilligan reruns at 3 in the morning. at home i could get a few ounces of scotch to knock me out. btw i have taste tested red label, black label, and single malt scotch. they all have one common problem. they taste like scotch. of course adding water cuts the ugh taste.

went to my nurse and requested to be released promising to be good. she said she would tell the doctor of my request. must give my wife credit too before i get recorrected and reprimanded. she too made a similar request after she arrived.

marital bliss, we had lunch together with my sorta'gang. it was the worst entree ever. would you believe salty, chemically poisoned frankfurters but the overly salty mushroom soup saved the day. please, lord murphy and lady luck may i go home to have perhaps some canned tuna with lemon juice. a marked improvement in diet.

they had me scheduled for next day dischargge. i figure they could calculate the weekly rate but not the daily rate since the next day made it an even two weeks in hell ... ooops ..scratch that. i was wrong they can calculate a daily rate.

at about mid-afternoon the doctor who had the power to spring me arrived.

TO BE CONTINUED. DON'T MISS IT. NEXT: more odds and ends
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TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE XVI

DOCTORS and assorted revisionist records and history

i notice from my own medical history that it slightly changes from month to month and from doctor to doctor. its the old game called "telephone"" where the message changes as it is told from person to person. doctors do not appear to be different from ... human beings. every story changes upon retelling, a word here, a period there, a shortening of a sentence or series of words, a nicer presentation, a slightly different perception, or understanding, or an attempt to not bore you to death, or the doctor was looking at the wrong person's record, or covering themselves, etc. this is written into your record as fact and would probably hold up in court.

no, you didn't have syphilis as the doctor said you had poison ivy. this actually happened to me although i was a virgin at the time. i'm sure i would have been stoned by my neighbors at the time if they knew what the doctor said. i wonder how much of this disease he saw in my neighborhood in the 1940s. my grandmother used this doctor and said in his defense that his waiting room was always full.

i noticed some changes in my medical record yesterday. one item stated that the transplanted kidney started up late. i don't know what that means. i was discharged from the hospital on the friday after the procedure which occurred on tuesday feelin' pretty good. my system was totally functioning properly as i recall right from the start. someone may be covering their butt because i was prescribed too much medication degrading my immune system and became very sick about 10 weeks later. feeling great ... ummm .. pretty good right now on minimal meds.

saw my regular, local nephrologist for the first time yesterday since december. he commented on my minimal med regimen and may have said, "thats a minimal med regimen" or something like that. when i commented on the record he said nothing.

y'know, the record is the record. those are the facts. who you gonna believe your eyes or the record?

TO BE CONTINUED. NEXT: ODDS AND ENDS.

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