THE REAL DEAL: EXPLAINING NTV (NITWIT TELEVISION)

today i will explain ntv programming as described yesterday:

1. creationism -- darwin was a total fraud, atheist, communist to expect us to believe his bizarre theory of (ugh) evolution. the beauty and simplicity of god's work is undeniable. ntv cannot abide by bizarre and convoluted theories from the big bang (har, har) to so called evolution.

2. tinkerbell exists -- just recently tinkerbell and elvis were seen together at friendly's at the mall in dover, nj proving how unreliable hollywood's so called fictional movies are. a panel discussion will give many eyewitness reports from a local officer's club.

3. santa claus' workshop -- this episode will incorporate an actual trip to the north pole with interviews with elves and mr. and mrs, claus at their workshop.

4. the easter bunny -- this episode will illuminate how the easter bunny collects chicken eggs, cooks them, stores them, and distributes them to desrving non-homosexual people.

5. the virgin mary revisited -- new information discovered in a cave written by authorities from ancient times who were wandering in the desert without water or food for many days with mary and joseph claim no one had enough energy to approach mary at the appropriate time. obviously it was a virgin birth that only god could explain.


6. flat earth -- clearly everthing around us is flat. the bermuda triangle is the edge of the earth. things disappear there. don't they? do you think we're stupid or something?


7. our circling universe -- this is mainly a panel discussion with video clips of the universe circling our lands.



DON'T LET THEM WEAR YOU DOWN. YOUR GUT KNOWS IT ALL.

*****************************************************************************************