CORPORATIONS ARE PEOPLE

i must have slipped into an alternative universe, or my wardrobe sucked me into narnia or did i go through the looking glass. at any rate somehow the phrase corporations are people keeps pounding in my head. this is most bizarre and surreal. i wonder how this could have happened?

corporations are people...corporations are people...corporations are people...

i must have hit my head because this would be ridiculous. concussions and also old age cause delusions.

somehow in this time warp anomaly that i'm in the supreme court had something to do with this. y'know the supreme court is made up of old people and i wonder how reality based they are.

in this realm soylent green is people. i guess i may have gotten into the movie somehow.

sooooo, both corporations and soylent green are people. of course.

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BRONXITIS

just stumbled on this and don't want to lose it. for elderly bronxites:



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REGRETS

saw the movie nebraska over the weekend. i found it interesting that it managed to review the lives of many people concisely and with feeling. you could read into everyone's lives a feeling of some regrets regardless of how trivial or overblown they may actually have been.

i would recommend it to anyone with mature feelings. the rest of you can watch sarah silverman reruns.

only edith piaf sings of having no regrets which is doubtful.



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GIANTS AND COWBOYS STRUGGLE TODAY IN MEDIOCRITY BOWL

my big game of the day is the giants - cowboys game. i'll be there - i mean watching tv - for the giants as long as they're competitive. if the going gets tough i'll take a nap. hopin' this game will be a jumping off point for the NEW YORK/NEW JERSEY GIANTS. YEA!!!

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A MORE MEMORABLE PRESIDENT (1945)

franklin delano roosevelt died 4/12/45 serving during four presidential terms from march 1933 - the great depression - to april 1945 - the end of the german backed wwii.

i was on bryant ave. that afternoon when another kid, scully - one of the poorest of the poor - came running down the street gleefully yelling, "he's finally dead". it was an amazing thing that this kid whose family was probably one of the few who appeared to need some socialized benefits would be so nasty. probably a grandfather to many current republicans.

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REMEMBERING (SORTA) KENNEDY 1963

yes, they are right i too can recall 11/22/63. i was in the library at my defense (ugh) installation in northern (ugh) new jersey probably escaping from work (i've always been good at that) when i heard the news that kennedy was shot.

how i heard it is now a mystery to me. the library probably did not have a radio and it certainly was not on.

i'm not a conspiracy theorist but i sorta think there must have been another person involved ??????????????????????????

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THE CLEANLINESS CONSPIRACY

the soap, clean water, and dentifrice lobby is controlling your life. due to the addictive nature of their products you are no longer in control of your hygiene. i now have great difficulty skipping my daily shower with soap. and why is that? because they have caught me in their so-called hygiene web. i no longer have control. help me.

clearly if we stay in our natural state many diseased people will avoid us. its a known fact that your natural bacteria will protect you from the evil bacteria. bad breath is known to be a natural protection against (ugh) human intimacy. go for it.

there is historical proof that when european invaders who lived with barnyard animals when entering the new world decimated the local clean population. yessss!

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JUST SAYIN'

there's no whining in football

the redskins fans are pathetic and i feel so sorry for rgiii. he tries so hard, has taken so many hits, and the team has fallen short.

being among new york-new jersey spawn we accept adversity and move on. the giants and jets play in the meadowlands, nj where jimmy hoffa is alleged to be buried in the end zone. chris chistie the tough governor of new jersey is in charge and strengthens our spirit. no wimpy fascist political dorks like there is in wash. dc. off subject? no this enters into whats wrong with the skins and their fans and the country.

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MORE HEALTH TIPS

1. never exercise. this is just a capitalist promoted activity to separate you from your money and strength. of course you must stretch your muscles periodically so walk around home depot, the library, the supermarket.

2. never try to accomplish anything. your instincts may tell you to accomplish something or have a project but this is just delusion passed down by the evolutionary process and is just a vestige of your ancient lizard brain. this will separate you from the 'work ethic' neanderthals you are acquainted with. ignore these feelings and go straight to bed watching fast food commercials on tv. this should be enough to satisfy that inner carnivore. certaily you can't eat this stuff.

3. stay away from other blood sucking humans. be sure to let everyone know that you are dying and they should go away. they're dying too but they may not know it and why should you care? this will leave you with lots of free time and you do not have to get confusing, contradictory, or .... ummmm .... ignorant commentary.

4. stay warm. it never gets too warm for dying people. you don't have to move to ... ugh ... florida to stay warm. you can just wear appropriate clothes and intimidate the members of your household to keep their hands off the thermostat.

5. buy my fountain-of-youth water..................................just joking.

BYE.

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GROAN..............

TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK,

so far this year we have learned that politicians know nothing about women's issues and computer web sites. so why do they attempt to do anything? obviously they are good at getting money and hanging out at the country club.

out of desperation some want to wipe away the federal government and start over. this may sound like a good idea but it will lead to a new set of blood sucking managers and you may be worse off in the end. groan ............................

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MORE HEALTHY AND LONG LIFE TIPS

1. spend more time in bed with your audio book device. complete bed rest is a major component of my life saving system. never do today what you can put off 'til next year.

2. stay away from doctors for most ailments that do not require immediate surgery or involve a broken bone. most of the time they are just earning the last kickback given them by pharmaceutical salesmen or they are faking it. my four great-grandmothers from poland, ukraine, transylvania, and kazakhstan respectively knew more about caring for illness than doctors do. for supplementary reading google up this artcle, "Denver-based DaVita sets aside $300 million to settle kickback probes ". assuming that $10k is a nice average kickback then that is 30000 kickbacks and its probably the tip of the iceberg. relax, i'm sure your doctor is competent and ok - good luck.

3. and as i wrote before only eat stuff you don't want to eat. as a treat you can have a dish of (original) cheerios.

you too can live as long as i by following these tips.

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just sayin'

about obamacare: most americans (thats you and me) have some healthcare coverage. the new law adds only a small percentage of us. so what the hell are the idiot politicians arguing about. they should just get a job.

the toronto mayor is sure getting a lot of media coverage. doesn't anyone in the media know that toronto is in another country.

i'm down to watching BLOOMBERG FINANCIAL NEWS in the morning. the other so-called cable news and business channels are getting too twisted and biased for my taste. screaming partisan republican toadies are not my cup-a-tea.

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CHRIS CHRISTIE THE 800 POUND GORILLA

the next president of the usa?

mother nature will take care of him. you can't carry all that weight and not suffer some consequences regardless of what he or his paid doctors say. i'm more worried who the vp will be. y'know what i'm sayin'..

now we can sing, the september song. "its a long, long way from may to december........".

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how about those jets taking on the expected superbowl contenders, new orleans saints, and handling them very well in their 26-20 win. GO JETS.

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ELECTION NIGHT BLUES

in the old (old, old) days the actual vote count was enough. i don't have to know in intricate detail who voted for who but i guess we now have 24/7 talk - talk - talk - talk media and they must fill the time. so now i know that white men with erectile dysfunction went for cuchinelli by 75% and that sexy hispanic women without yeast infections went for christie by 51.2%.

the mcauliffe-cuchinelli race reminded me of the truman/dewey race as it slowly unfolded. late last night i almost expected cuchinelli, against all expert opinion, to win.

of course the democrats, although beatup badly last night, are still maintaining that they had a great night.

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THE HEALTHY AND LONG LIFE DIET

you don't have to buy my book or watch my tv show. this is the simplest and bestest diet ever and here it is:

DON'T EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT TO EAT AND EAT EVERYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT.

see - easy- examples: don't eat birthday cake. eat raw broccoli. don't eat a thick bloody tender steak with thick mushroom sauce. eat unseasoned tofu. don't eat pizza. eat all the sea kelp you can buy.

i guarantee you will feel good and not gain weight. you will feel healthy and you can tell your doctor to go abuse himself. and may be able to throw away any meds.

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