TRUTH IN HEALTHCARE REVISITED I


(not being of previous generation's drug culture and of sound mind (i think?) i had not previously experienced hallucinations)

during an admission to the hospital after my transplant i experienced illusions and was unwilling to admit that they were not real. of course they were real. i'm not crazy, y'know. har, har, not me, har,har.

i actually thought it was impossible for someone as smart and realistic as myself to have visions and see things that don't exist. my daughter who years ago had worked in a hospital said such events are common. i was informed that sick people on drugs can see much unreal stuff. "not me", i thought.

strangely i was able to sorta' explain these illusions to myself for example:

the tiles on the ceiling had pictures being printed on a paper roll within a light fixture which i studied with care. the paper roll was moving across the ceiling and disappearing at the wall (or ..umm.. there were several rolls since all the tiles had pictures). i did not question why that was being done because i was in a hospital and a lot of strange things seemed to be happening. there were pictures of works of art, portraits, porn, architecture, statues. etc. sometimes a porn video was played. not my fault. i didn't turn it on.

being that i have always (without a doubt been rational) i did not question these events. i kept asking visitors to my room whether they saw the pictures. although i tried i could not convince anyone that what i saw existed. what was wrong with them? i dismissed their shortcomings as bad eyesight or lack of concentration.

another strange event was what appeared to be a black thread web in my room. my son walked right through it. clearly, i surmised that it must be projected with some device that was directed at my bed since even i could see it was not substantial. some strange psychological test???? after all the hospital was associated with a university.

i queried the visitors to my room and found that to my surprise no one else could see these things. why was this bizarre projection directed at me?? i guess other people experiencing odd things just don't mention them for fear of being considered eccentric. i figured that i was OK and the other people were deficient.

after a few days of talking to myself i had the following conversation:

"is it me?"
"maybe."
"it probably is me."
"yes, its me."
"i can't believe it."
"believe it."
"OK."

i'm fine now as i told elvis presley last night.

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