NEW YEARS EVE: WHAT IS IT AND WHY SHOULD I CARE?

fortunately i'll go to sleep tonight around 8 pm. no longer am i obligated to attend mind deadening parties dying slowly in my chair with other married zombies losing iq points and brain cells and absorbing quantities of old wives tales and other misinformation.

haven't figured out what we're supposed to be celebrating on new year's eve: the end of another disastrous year; the beginning of a new disastrous year; that we are still alive for no reason at all; that when we subtract our birth year we are a year older; that your unemployment benefits have run out; that we are with friends who would sell you out for a cold potato.

for young people there are other new years eve events: its a good night for breakups; for a more ...ummm... physical relationship; for a less physical relationship; looking forward to college graduation and the end of your good life.

and my favorite - for the media and financial news for next year; continue making up your own facts; telling lies repeatedly for lesser intellects to believe; distorting events for kickbacks and payoffs.

and for small business: continue not paying collected sales or other taxes; may next year be the end of paying anything for hired help. they should be happy for the rainbow.

lets hope we can accomplish all we desire.

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JOHN GRISHAM MEETS ROBERT CRAIS

always trying to improve literature: i think that john grisham's the firm can be improved if he and robert crais would hook up. if mitch and abby mcdeere had been in touch with (crais') joe pike and elvis cole grisham's book would be half as long. certainly the takedown of the partners and the moroltos crime family would be more efficient and quicker by joe pike, elvis cole and their acquaintences. the fumbling self serving fbi of course would be embarassed again.

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MORE FINAL EXAM

final exam at 10 am today.

i don't remember that.

its in contracts.

can't remember the last time i attended class.yes, i remember now - i think.

i should have prepared.

i'm on campus now.

students and staff are walking this way and that. what building, and room is it in?

i'd better go over to the administration building and find out.

yikes, its 9:30 already.

pushing my way through crowds on the hill heading towards the building.

there's a sign on the door.

it says the admnistration building has been moved to the other campus.

i'm on the subway heading towards the other campus.

no i'm not. this train is going into the borough of queens.

the train is now traveling above ground.

all that can be seen is the shrubbery along the countryside.

i'll get off at the next stop and crossover to the otherside to get back to the city.

at the next stop there is a bus waiting that goes into the bronx over the whitestone bridge.

the bus ia a local and makes many stops.

finally arriving at west farms square.


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home at last.

seems that thats where i wanted to be in the first place.

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FINAL EXAMS

in addition to dreaming of term papers due the next morning i also dream of final exams that i have not prepared for. having gone through life on the wing and not prepared for anything, i have managed to survive. no wonder i have bad dreams about final exams and term papers.

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TERM PAPER

i lay down in bed last night.

realizing that a term paper was due this morning i knew that i needed my computer, paper, and pen to prepare my hand written paper.

pondering this revelation, it occurred to me that i may be dreaming.

if i weren't dreaming what was the worst thing that could happen to an old man if i didn't do the paper?

then a miracle happened i had to get out of bed to answer nature's call.

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THE CURSE OF GERONIMO

washington redskins' fans are are wondering why their team has been losing consistently in the most painful ways. the reason is the curse of geronimo. because the history of this nation's destruction and oppression of indians and their culture has been so offensive the great indian leader and warrior finds the name redskins is the last straw. he has arisen to make sure the washington nfl team will change its name or perish.

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great weekend for ny and nj football fans. both jets and giants won. yea!

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CHARITY AND DOING THE RIGHT THING

while my wife and i were having a snack at one of the port authority fast food places in nyc i noticed that one customer seemingly of indian descent was approached by a pan handler. without hesitation he reached into his pocket and gave him a dollar. no big deal.

in some parts of this universe there are people who follow the better instincts of our kind. do not confuse religious ritual and nonsense with doing the right thing.

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SANTA CLAUS AN ESKIMO

santa claus was first noticed to live near the north pole in the 19th century. but actually "On April 6, 1909, Robert Peary claimed to be the first person in recorded history to reach the North Pole -- (although whether he actually reached the Pole is doubted by some)"

although there is an intense dogmatic belief that santa is a white man. who can believe that when the evidence is contrary? clearly he must be of "eskimo" descent as are his helpers.

sorry to ruin the holiday. get over it.

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COFFEE - AMERICA ON THE SKIDS

trying various brands of coffee. sorry folks coffee these days no matter what the price cannot hack it against any coffee from 1945 in any place in nyc. having coffee at bickfords or the automat for a nickel was great compared to the high priced crappola of today. just part of the dumbing down of the dummies in america.

just bought and tried a coffee which on sale is about $11 a pound. must say its ok. not real good but ok.

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BITCOINS AND GRANPA DON'S PAPER MONEY

this item has nothing to do with bitcoins.

granpa don's paper money is new value commodity. its value lies in its limited edition printing. only one million face value certificates will be issued. it is paper money the same size and color and face imprint as the game money in monopoly except that each certificate is initialed by granpa don for authentication like rembrandt paintings. each face amount has a value of $10 per unit face. a face amount of one is initiallty valued at $10. a face amount of 10 is initially valued at $100 and so on.

this commodity is free traded. once all granpa don's paper money is sold granpa don will never again be involved. this item will increase in value over time because of inherent inflation in the world's economy. i could go on and on about the virtues of this commodity but i will let you discover them because you are so smart.

for a limited time only the certificates will sell at a 10% discount. so hurry.

disclaimer: tantrums, bleeding and death may be side effects. for any side effect see your doctor immediately because he knows everything.

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I'M ENTITLED

i know i shouldn't complain. life has dealt me a hand with three tens. not satisfied. i want a full house with three aces. i deserve it.

but you know rhere'll always be a more clever guy manipulating the deck and coming up with four of a kind. how does he do that? i have no idea . just stay away fom him and admit your limitations.

going back to sleep ..... zzzzzzz.

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IMPROVING LITERATURE

at three this morning i was thinking of blanche DuBois saying, " .... I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

always happy to help out fellow writers i submit the following as improvemrnts to Tennessee Williams line:

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of the internal revenue service."

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of wall street stockbrokers."

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of rotweilers."

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of engineers."

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of car dealers."

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of subordinates."

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of management."

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of college boys."

" .... I have always depended on the kindness of boa constrictors and politicians."

to the writers of america: you are welcome.

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THE FORGOTTEN DAY THAT WOULD LIVE IN INFAMY

REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR??????????????????

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THANKSGIVING DINNER DRINK OLYMPICS

the contenders were two imported sparkling waters, two domestic sparkling waters, a good white wine, a good imported scotch, and a bottled domestic water. the winner was a domestic sparkling water: vintage seltzer. in the alcoholic category the medication effect was quicker and more cost effective with the scotch but the wine was more palatable and did the job.

bring on xmas.

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HEALTHCARE REMORSE - JUST SHOOT ME

if you think the medical community is there to help you, you are sadly mistaken. you are merely a money generating production unit. in this country keeping you alive and generating income is of primary importance - to the economy, to the medical community, to wall street. we will not let you die. pharmsceuticals, devices, and other weird science stuff will be tried out on you. screaming will not help. the medical community can do anything to you without law enforcement intervention. its part of the huge conspiracy.

many in the medical community actually think that they are helping you. even religious groups think they are helping by dogmatically stating that life is sacred. we will save you no matter what. our fascist multi-party government supports your pain and suffering.

they shoot horses. don't they? yes, because they cannot pay for their healthcare. if they or the govt. would pay for their healthcare i can assure you they wouldn't be shot.

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FREE AT LAST. FREE AT LAST.

so glad the giants and jets are out of the superbowl competition. this frees up my sundays for watching important tv like movies and other junk.

i may switch interest to some other team. i'll wait to see tomorrow morning's paper. we'll see.

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