179TH AND VYSE, BRONX, NY (PART LXVIII): LIFE BEFORE DEATH IN (ugh) NEW JERSEY

as a year end treat, i am presenting the greatest school newspaper of all time:

(someone should photoshop the quality .....)

and the ads and supporters:

SINCE MY GRAND DAUGHTER IS THE TALENTED ONE IN THE FAMILY, I'LL POST HER LAST BLOG......  EDITING DONE BY ME.


"I think I'll just use this blog as a place to post the work I do in school. This is an article type thing they had us do in Journalism. The assignment was to find a group of people at lunch that you have never spoken to (I cheated a bit and was actually slightly more than acquaintances/sort-of friends with most of the people at this table prior the assignment) and to sit with them and record everything that occurred. Basically to "paint" a "tableau vivant" or a picture of what was going on at the time. This is to get us started on writing feature articles. I had a lot of fun with this, excuse the mild use of profanity.




The Lunch Bunch

“You wanna get the good lines, you talk to me, and don’t go back on the cursing, that brings out the pazaz.” sophomore, C---  states matter of fact as he instructs me how and what I should do in order to properly represent his lunch bunch. His cocky bravado is only part of what makes his table so attention grabbing.

C--- is one of an array of seven sophomore boys who sit in the noisiest area of the S.A.C. Their use of burping, cussing, and yelling as a manner of communication would leave Martha Stewart reeling.

Though trashcans surround the boys' seating area, any leftover food or garbage is thrown in the center of the table and left forgotten. As the lunch period goes on, the pile grows higher and higher, almost like an abstract sculpture.

The boys' conversations consist mostly of short sentences that are hardly coherent. N---, perhaps the most vocal of the group, announces at complete random, “All Asians look the same.”

J---, one of three Asians at the table, looks up and responds to him idly, and shaking his head, “That’s racist man.”

N--- thinks about this for a moment before retorting, “Well you two look the same,” gesturing at J--- and his brother, Y---.

Y--- and J---, roll their eyes. “That’s because we’re twins.”


G---, who was until this moment working diligently on the homework due next period, looks up and chuckles.

Lunch continues noisily as C--- tells anyone who will listen about the time he ate a Taco Bell Double Decker burrito, “It had a lot of beans, a lot of beans. That shit did not go down well.”

Conversation is interrupted completely when someone two tables away is slapped on the neck. “Ooh,” The boys yell stomping their feet. N--- is the loudest as the boys cheer and bang on tables, “Ooh he was necked,” they yell, “he was necked so bad.”

Mid “Ooh” the bell rings and the boys stop their cheering abruptly and quickly scatter off to their various classes, all except C---.

“That’s something else about our table,” C--- informs me smiling as he gestures to the display of empty milk cartons, candy wrappers, wadded napkins, and partially eaten meals littering the table, “We like to leave the environment the exact opposite of how we found it.”

To his credit, he quickly begins to aid the janitors in throwing the curdled garbage in the yellow trash bin before throwing his backpack over his shoulder, and rushing off to class."

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as we get closer to the greatest football matchup of the season, the mediocre new york giants are three point favorites over the so-so, erratic dallas cowboys on the giant's hometown nyc field in the swamps of new jersey this sunday night.  go giants, yea!

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the nutritionist said, "your weight is perfect".

some of the questions i have are,
"why do i laugh when i look at myself in the mirror?";
"what is that bulge in my tummy area?";
"when my time comes, will this coffin make me look fat?";
"how would jesus respond to this statement?":
"would, alf landon win the iowa caucus?".

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i totally missed boise state's bowl game the other day.  a nice win over arizona state in las vegas.  probably made a lot of bucks for the schools and nevada.  yea! 


who needs the stinkin' bcs?
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yea!  as of 5 am this morning the giants are booked at about 2 point favorites to stumble into the playoffs with a win over the cowboys and their talented actor quarterback tony romo.

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being the day after xmas, the delusional are still raving and ranting of how great god is.  they do not respond to how messed up everyone around them is.  not counting the world's natural disasters.  can't help thinking that i am the only sane person.

sorry that there is no help for you except your imagination.

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i have but two words for all, "go giants".

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SO SAD

that was quite a show the dallas cowboys put on to rest their star quarterback, tony romo.  he hit his throwing hand on the helmet of a player on his first play.   after x-rays, bandaging and a suitable period of time he returned to the bench from the locker room with the other players.  what?  why didn't they give him a crutch and a neck brace?

next week they play the giants for the division title and the playoffs.  neither the cowboys nor the giants are expected to last too long in the heavy competition of the playoffs.

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looking at the nfl standings (without digging too deep) the jets appear to have a bezarre remote chance of getting a playoff spot.  being an average team they too will not last long among the heavy weights.

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it was the eve before xmas eve
when all thru the .... ummm ... whatever ....

busy this morning trying to find what email addresses and passwords i need to get on my own internet thingums.  my wife is still asleep and there are too many combinations.  i'll have to wait for her majesty to arise.

bye!
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calories, calories, calories ........
doctors and scientists had to do a study to find out that you will stay alert and smart longer if you are hungry.  why does this not surprise me.  y'know that when your family was in their cave evolving, if somrthing walked or crawled into their cave, their survival was dependent upon being alert enough to grab a club, hit the creature on the head and eat it.  being an elegant family they removed the hair and/or feathers first.

YOUR CLASSY ANCESTORS

ooops, sorry, your family was always elegant because of their superiority even when they were scratching in the bavarian forests.

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aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh .... sunrise this morning will be at 7:22.   i'm depressed over that and i don't even have to go to work.  groan.........

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republican candidate competition heating up.  my advice:  SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!

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GRANMA HEALTH CARE

in the good old days in the bronx, health care was reeeeaaaallllly easy and simple.   you went along on your merry way and one day you would feel really sick.  you checked into fordham hospital and you died.  easy and quick.

now we anguish and spend large amounts of time over our ailments when we could be playing golf.  what a waste of time.  the experts can't do anything for you anyway.  my grandmother could have given me the same advice.  in addition they test you continually which is annoying and time consuming but you can put a straight edge to the data and predict your own death.

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north korea puts troops on alert.

what the hell is this about?  who wants anything they have their hands on.  is china crazy enough to support their insanity?  nevermind.

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the disastrous nyc pro football season died a little yesterday,  fortunately there was some good news during the day when kim jong il was relegated to the dung heap of history.  by friday no one will be able to recall him.

they might say wasn't kim the actress playing opposite jimmy stewart in, bell, book, and candle?

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bad news.  jets are underdogs in their game with eagles this afternoon.   GOoooooooooo JETS!!!!!!!!!!

on the 24th  the giants and jets play.  i'll have to be cheering for the giants unless they are out of the playoff hunt.  i only cheer for winners.

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giants are only 7 point favorites at home against redskins.  uh, oh, i smell upset. 

i expect the ... ummm ... superbowl, bound giants to be an overwhelming force.  apparently no one else does.

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gotta go.  arianna huffington, and tom friedman are on morning joe now.  they are only two of the three greatest people of all time.  only tom brokaw is not there.

ooops, i forgot, bertha kravitz (the lawn service guy's wife) from randolph, new jersey.  sorry, bertha.  (i don't want her gossiping about me)

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i see the euro has dropped to about $1.30.  thats still about half a buck high as far as i'm concerned.  they owe us. 

in addition the stock market decline because of europe's economic problems is an indication of how far our corporate community is in bed in their greedy, incestuous relationship with europe with thanks to our government since ronald reagan.

nevermind.

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yesterday, while wandering around, k-mart (yes k-mart -- eat it) i picked up a couple of items headed over to checkout and found lines six carts deep.  i put the stuff (i really don't need) down and left the store.

somehow the k-mart/sears people don't get it.  at the harvard business school, wharton school, et al the k-mart/sears management should have learned that selling an item requires the taking of money to finalize the action and at peak holiday periods  they may have more business than usual.  when you have more business than usual you should put on extra help of a temporary nature so that you can optimize business activity.

since i have taught and given you the equivalent of three college credits you can reimburse me with the appropriate monies.  i will expect a payment of $3000.  thank you.

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the more i see michele bachmann the more appealing she gets.  is she a witch?  a she-devil, siren, harpy, casting her spell on you.  watch out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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giants had a miracle win last night.  glad i didn't see it.  my old heart would have been under much strain.

ny daily news :   "Eli Manning puts together comeback, Jason Pierre-Paul blocks tying FG "

miracle wins don't happen too often.  giants future this season is murky.  go giants........


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yahoo news:    "The New York Giants-Dallas Cowboys Sunday night showdown at Cowboys Stadium is, with its average ticket price of $307.24, the most expensive game to attend in Week 14,  .... "

bizarrely when i was a teenager the psal (or pal?) in nyc would give out free giants tickets.  that would sorta indicate an infinite inflation rate.

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looks like newt is the candidate for demented republicans.  like in '64 with goldwater the republicans will spend the campaign season trying to explain that their candidate is not crazy.
 
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an exciting part of my day is finding lumps in my cereal.  each lump is a mysterious taste experience and a delight.  they are as unique as snowflakes.  flavor, texture, density, homogeneity size vary from lump to lump.  variety certainly is the spice of life.

there was a time as a child when i was disgusted by lumpy cereal.  how was i to know that decadence and corruption and lumps would be so attractive and enjoyable?   yes, only an innocent child..........

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100 YEARS OLD
I ASPIRE TO BE THIS GUY

WHOA, ...  my 7/12ths birthday.   yea, yea.

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giants will start their trek to the superbowl this weekend as they play and beat the cowboys, the team from the feebleminded state of texas,

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jets will also win sending their record to 8-5 for an excellent chance of a playoff berth.

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GO NEW YORK CITY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course they play in new jersey because there is more cheaper, empty, mosquito infested swamp land available.  new jersey people will always tell you how upscale it is (har, har - wink, wink).  don't believe them.  can i sell you a hedge fund?

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AAAaaaaaagggghhhhhh ....... senior citizen day at my supermarket store.  i'm especially vulnerable since i'm at that awkward age between dotage and death.  the old prople drive me crazy because they are in my way and can really be annoying because of slowness of body and mind.  the young people (those around 60) steamroller through and around me.  i think i'll forgeddaboutit.

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the UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND death panel has decided not to allow me a cadaver kidney nor put me on a waiting list.  ....oooops ... sorry,  there are no death panels.   "no, no,   don't hurt me .... aaaarggghhhh ... gasp.

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remember pearl harnor.  i know you lefties think it was our coverup to nuke japan and take over hawaii.  you might think differently if your life or son's life was on the line.   







and then a few days later, "German Declaration of War with the United States: December 11, 1941.... " to start the german-bastard war ii.

now we all love each other smiling, laughing, singing and dancing together.  yea, yea, yea!

when republicans are back in power in the three branches of government  they will run up our economy again, yea!.  all those unemployed building skilled workers who are starving now will be successful again.  all we need is deregulation of banking and mortgage finance to build, build, build.  just flood the economy with money.  driving a nail into two pieces of building material is all you need to know.  getting signatures or even a mark from prospective buyers is all you need. all the job creators need is piles of unregulated money.  just print it.

you morons who actually worked, sweated, and saved were really stupid.

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really enjoyed the giant-packer game.  it was among the greatest games of all time.  ok, not in the top tier but in the second level of great games it was in the top 100. 

even though the giants playoff hopes currently look dim, the packers can hear the thump-thump-thump of the giant team closing in on them in about six weeks,  super bowl bound packers look out.  there's many a slip 'tween the cup and the lip, as they say.

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WHOA ...... undefeated greenbay is only a 7 point favorite against (floundering) giants.  i may watch this game for a few minutes.

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TOTALLY UNBIASED IDAHO STATESMAN, SAYS, "Houston loss opens the door slightly for Boise State football team to grab a BCS berth".

I'M GLAD COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS NOT BIG BUSINESS BUT: the victory of southern miss. over houston has caused quite a stir as the wapo reports that, conference usa, lost millions of dollars because of the loss.  i'm tearing up.

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getting sorta tired of our totalitarian form of govt.  what country or people do they think they are representing?  they're hard to live with or listen to.  who elected them????????????????

and there's more of the same where they came from.  groan..........

just sayin.

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yes, could be worse but could be better too.

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the obit in the paper i read reported the death of judy lewis today.  i am fascinated by the report that she was the illegitimate daughter of clark gable and loretta young but her parentage was denied for over 30 years.  part of the coverup included her brief stay at an orphanage.

i am always amazed at the hypocrisy of people.

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mika's father is on, morning joe, right now as i write.  his point is always -  why aren't we more like poland?

i'm switching to cnbc where i find the dow may be up another hundred points today.  yea, capitalism.

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you are so smart.  the dow went up almost 500 points yesterday and you knew it.  i don't care what they are saying about you, you are a winner.

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hooray for newt, our savior.  he saved us from communism; he went to berlin and said, "tear down this wall"; he stood up to castro and khrushchev during the cuban missile crisis; he raised the flag on mount suribachi in iwo jima; he defeated the gemans at the battle of the bulge. 

NEWT AT TRENTON 

certainly he deserves to be at least PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.  did i mention that he defeated the redcoats at trenton to insure our independence.

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